Fall Fitness

I'm interested in starting another blog - but this one would be authored by multiple bloggers with a common theme - achieving fitness and health goals this fall.

With the insanely hot weather this summer, I've done nothing in this area of my life. I've pretty much eaten whatever I felt like, and exercise was limited mostly to finding the TV remote under the couch.

So, I'm looking for interested parties who want to contribute. Whether your goals are losing weight, eating healthier, or getting in shape - everyone's welcome. There's no minimum/maximum posting requirements, just write when you need encouragement or want to celebrate or whatever.

My hope is that it would be a blog to inspire, motivate, and encourage each other. For me, it's also an accountability. If I write it down, then I'm more likely to persevere when that chocolate doughnut looks longingly at me, and whispers sweetly "EAT ME!".

There are lots of other wonderful blogs out there that have the same concept, but what's different for me, is that you all are my friends. Not to say that it's limited to only my friends, but there's something beautiful about sharing and motivating with friends.

I'll flip comments on for interested folks. Just leave a comment if you'd like to participate.

Date Afternoon

The hubby and I are going out this afternoon - yippee!! Not sure what we're doing yet, as there are no movies playing during the time we have a sitter - and that nix's our original idea. I always think back to the date night we actually considered going toilet shopping...I'm hoping it won't come to something like that. Surely we can coming up with something fun to do between the hours of 1-3:30pm. HA!

Weather is nice, so that helps.

We have gift cards for Main Event, so maybe bowling?

Either way, we'll enjoy the silence. I think that's one of the things I miss getting a little of. With a 2 year old and a 1 year old, there's not a lot of it. I also like being able to have a conversation with my hubby uninterrupted. Yesterday we were practically yelling over them trying to talk about our days.

Off

Today I just feel off. Not really sure why. The piles of stress seem heavier today, and my confidence is lower. I feel like I'm second-guessing myself all the time. I feel like I, well, suck, at everything today.

I could list out my burdens, but that would be just whiny. Let's just say I have one or two.

Most of the time I churn along just fine in spite of it all. Today is today. I only need to get through today. Occasionally, my mind rests in a darker spot. I hate that.

I know I should be praying, but my mind prefers to just wallow in it - not really ready to let it all go.

Sleep should help. It generally does.

Getting out helps. Sometimes a girl just needs a break. Today after nap time, I just wasn't fully functional to cope with the needs of two kids. Corbin crying. He didn't want to be put down, but he didn't want me to sit down with him in my arms. Oh, no. He wanted me to hold him and stand. Hayden waking up in one of his moods.

Do you want to sit down? No.

Do you want to lay down? No.

Do you want to stand up? No.

Do you want a banana? No.

Okay, no banana? Banana!

So you do want a banana? No.

ARGH!

Corbin angry at his sippy cup - why isn't it a bottle? What the heck? Kid hasn't had a bottle in two weeks. Doesn't want the cup, doesn't want me to put the cup away. Just wants me to hold it AND him.

Hahahaha. And so goes the 5 o' clock hour as we're waiting for Daddy to get home from wherever he was that day. Some days I handle this better than others.

Today I handled it by demanding we all GO FOR A WALK. Oh how I love walks. Mostly because they mean a little peace for me. Minus the numerous stops for squabbles, pretzel fights, stick retrieval, and nose wiping.

So what's the point of this rambling? I have no idea. Like I said, I'm off.

Today, and Nothing More

First off, thanks for all the comments on the mama drama. It's good to hear many of you have healthy or healthier relationships with your Mamas. It's also good to hear I'm not the only one too. Actually, it was really good cause I was starting to think there was something wrong with me - I'm perfect right? Haha. I'm sure there's issues on both ends, but I'd like to think it wasn't just on my side.

I liked the idea of turning on the comments once in awhile to get the advice and thoughts flowing. For now, I'm going back to no comments, but I'll flip them back on for another post I'm sure. You can always email me if you really need to give me a piece of your mind - or just tell me something nice, cause I love hearing nice things!

Tonight, I got to hear about the recent mission trip to India that four of our wonderful church family members took. It really gives you something to think about and brings home the statement "It's all relative". Times may seem tough for us now, but honestly, we're in luxury compared to most of the world's standards.

And in light of that, on my drive home, I really got to thinking about my attitude during this season of our lives. Basically, that attitude has been one of pure "wanting". I "want" Mark to find a job. I "want" it to be soon. I "want" things to go back to normal. Ugh. How easy it is to forget, that each day of our life is orchestrated by God. He knew that I would be in this moment. He knows how the events of my life will unfold. Why worry a single second about what tomorrow will bring? He already knows.

As I read through the bible stories of the lives of those who came before me, it's so glaringly obvious that each season of our life serves His purpose. It may be unknown why some are in jail, why some suffer, why some have no jobs, why some have no money - but only to us - God has a plan and purpose in all of this.

So I will not walk in the attitude of "wanting" or desperation. I will walk in the attitude of anticipation - anticipation of God's glory in our lives, and thankfulness - thankfulness for all He has provided today.

Release

We're finally company-free tonight. And it feels really good. I feel like my true purpose and duties always get clouded when I'm trying to please someone else. And I suppose they do.

Now I need to pick up the pieces of my real life and put everything back in order. What does Mark need? Have I been supporting him? I haven't gotten to talk to him. What does he need me to do?

Time to get the kids off the TV and back into the family world.

Time to get back to the running of the house.

I used to feel overwhelmed by the duties that can back up while you're entertaining, now I'm energized by them. I feel out of sorts if I'm not doing them, and happy to get back to my own life.

I'm a "pleaser" personality, and it's draining for me when I am unable to "please" someone even when I'm trying so hard. I always feel like I fail at that with my mom. I just need to realize that there is nothing I can do to please her. My duties are to my husband and children, not to her. My worth comes from my relationship with God, not my relationship with her. And that's ok.

So I feel a release when the visit is over. I can go back to being myself. Let my guard down. Put my focuses back where they should be, and never should have left.

I love my mother. All I want is for her to be happy with me. I've been striving for it my whole life. And that's the problem.

But I guess that's the mother/daughter drama eh? I may open up comments on this one for some discussion. Do you have a good relationship with your mother? How have you worked through your conflicts? What attitudes/perspective have you achieved?

Today it rained buckets...and I loved it! It's been such a long, dry summer that our grass is completely brown, my tomatoes still haven't produced a thing, and I've gone into hibernation mode to stay out of the heat.

I'm looking forward to the days when I can dust off my jogging stroller and head to the trails at our park. Get out my iPod and run away my stress - and extra pounds! But that's not going to happen with temperatures above 90, and especially above 100. I'm hoping this rain is a sign of things to come - you know, fall.

I'm so ready for fall. We live in Texas, so I wouldn't exactly say that we had a real fall - but any change, even the slightest, is good.

I'm also looking forward to Corbin getting his room back. He's been sleeping in our room this week since we have company - and damn that boy is a light sleeper. Every rustle of the covers on my part evokes a whimper. And then the random wake ups. I'm way too in tune with him to ignore even the slightest noise. Comes with mommyhood I guess - Mark would never hear it. Of course, he's chosen the couch over sleep interruptions - loser.

Monday night I will have my sleep restored. And that's a good, good thing.

I feel like my calendar is filling up rapidly for the coming months. But isn't it always like that this time of year? Fall brings with it a collection of holidays and the events that correspond - but even more than that. Ladies bible study begins, Hayden gets evaluated for his speech, football season and Saturday game watches, MS Walk, boat party, parenting seminar...ok the list is quite long.

By the way, I really need to rsvp for the parenting thingy. I've been trying to work it out, but no luck so far on the babysitting front. I think I may do this one solo and leave Mark alone with the kiddos.

Kiddos got their first colds last week. Luckily, they weren't too bad. No doctor visits needed. I'm sure there are many more of those to come. I'm trying to just look at it as "normal" mode and not get hyper about it. It is a bummer when it interrupts plans though. We're pretty active as far as having the kids out with us, so when we can't bring them along, we end up canceling a lot of stuff.

Well it's after 10:30pm and I've given myself a new bedtime. I know, like Mark says - what are you? an old lady? But, I feel 100% better now that I'm not staying up late. Even though technically I'm averaging the same amount of sleep. I get up earlier between 6:30am-7am, but I don't feel like complete crap when I do. Yeah, yeah, I guess I'm getting old. Can't do what I used to and all that jazz. Old at 28? Sheesh, I gotta long way to go. Somebody get the duct tape, I'm breakin down.

Totally Tuesday

Whenever I don't have an actual post topic I just use the day of the week with some cheesy same letter word. Whatever. So yay, it's random post day! Okay, so they are all random - but you still love me right, right? Oh that's right, I turned off comments. Boo.

So my latest achievement is getting rid of the bottle!!! Oh it's a glorious thing. No more bottles, no more formula. Guess it's time to have another baby - or er, no. I think I'm going to enjoy this time for a little bit longer before I start thinking about that.

Of course, for all other things I'm failing miserably. No luck on potty training with Hayden. Mostly due to my own laziness. It's quite a bit of work and I just need to suck it up and do it. Hayden's potty skills are limited to cheering me on when I'm in the bathroom - which is really quite weird. I've never had an audience, let alone a cheering one. "Yay mommy!" I guess I can find success in the little things - like going to the bathroom!!

My mom's coming into town today, so I'm sure my "online" time will be even more limited. So blogging might take a back seat to visiting.

But I'm most excited these days about my new desk! We have an office in our upstairs loft, but it's not really accessible to me during the daytime. Corbin is now able to climb stairs but still has no concept of gravity, so me being upstairs isn't an option. I've been confined to the laptop on the counter and my piles of books/journals/calendar just floats around wherever I go - which has been getting annoying. So I asked Mark to get me a desk for the utility room downstairs where I can keep my stuff and laptop. Utility room has a view not only of the whole living area downstairs, but a window so I can keep an eye on Hayden's shenanigans in the back yard.

I'll have to take a pic of it when I get a chance. It will also be nice to have the camera docking station permanently placed so I don't have to keep setting it up every time I want to upload a picture. Which means more pictures for you bloggy friends!! Yay!

Okay, I think I have to stop writing now because Hayden just passed me a toy, and yeah it's covered in jelly. STICKINESS ACK!!