I'm Unique, Just Like Everyone Else

First, let me give credit where credit is due. Photo is from Ingorr on Flickr.

This morning has been interesting. I've been exploring other blogs on Blogger. Not too much going on actually, we're all leading quite boring lives. Except maybe those of us in other countries, I can't really read your blog (I can only speak English, and order food in Spanish), so maybe you guys are doing interesting things. I'll never know.



I found:

1.) Quite a few of us are trying to lose weight. No surprise there.
2.) Many of us are pissed at one friend or another. Too bad we're not perfect. HA! A thought just came into my head...if we all had blogs I'm sure there would be at least one person blogging about what an ass I was at any given moment.
3.) Alot of blogs are totally bullshit advertisements. What a freakin waste of space.
4.) Alot of us are keeping our blogs anonymous. Not me of course, which has been an interesting choice for me. Cuts down on the topics, like the afore mentioned bitching about friends.
5.) Some of us are freakin amazing artists, either visually or verbally. Wow guys. I hope you're not squandering your talent on blogging. Cause people need to read/see your stuff!

So weird, I'm blogging about other people blogging. Is that like taking a picture of someone taking a picture of you? Hmmmmm...that's one to ponder while on the toilet.

Anyway, new topic. I've been seriously considering trying to start up my painting again. I'm starting to have longer chunks of time. Maybe even enough to work on a painting or two. It's been so long though that I honestly would suck. My drawing is horrible right now. For me drawing has always been a talent only through practice, same as my piano. If I get away from it, it turns to shit. Well, I always keep some retained talent in piano, but only because I took lessons for over 10 years. Had to have been worth something.

Interesting tidbit about me...I only paint when I drink. So maybe this should be more of a night time hobby. Drinking at 10am doesn't sound good...or does it? Just kidding. Drinking just takes the edge off. Removes the little voice inside that says the painting is going to turn out shitty. But don't drink too much, or it will!!! I guess you could pass it off as abstract. (The entire abstract art community just gasped and passed out at the comment - sorry guys, I love your work).

It's been raining here, for, well forever. And surprisingly, I haven't gotten stir crazy. I guess my little man has been keeping me thoroughly entertained. Hayden that is, not Mark. ;) But I've always liked rain. There was a bit of time after Hayden was born that I would get pretty depressed when it was raining out, but that seems to have passed.

Postpartum depression is definitely a real thing, that even visited my crazy brain. No idea what it is or why it is, but I was totally down there for a few months. And then, like a cloud dissipating, it was gone. I could suddenly get up off that couch, smile, enjoy the day, enjoy Hayden, not be so lonely. Maybe it had something to do with starting exercising again too. That definitely helps my moods. I have to admit that I've been slacking on that front. Yes I ADMIT IT. But, thanks to my truly gorgeous friend Jenny, I worked out today. She inspires me to get off my lazy ass. She's beautiful and in good shape, yet still gets out there and works out; so why shouldn't I? After chatting with her for a few minutes, I got up and worked out, from sheer shame.

I recently saw "A Good Year". I liked it. Nothing monumental, but it did make me want to go out and buy a bottle of wine. If that was the intended purpose - it worked.

I also saw "Invincible", again a good movie. But left me with one question: How the hell did his wife pack up and move all their shit out of the house in one day? I guess Mark is lucky to have such a lazy wife. I'd be "leaving him" for a month. Plenty of time for him to figure it out. No surprise empty house scene. I'd still be cussing and searching around for cardboard boxes.

Tomorrow I'm treating my inner girl to one of my favorite movies - The Sound of Music. Screw anyone who has a problem with that movie, I love it.

Another dinner with friends tonight - I'll be sure to take pics for my wall!!!

Not Rotting My Brain

I have discovered some important truths about life today. Yes, I'm slow - it's taken me 26 years to figure these things out.

1.) My mother was right. TV does rot your brain.
2.) God was right. Material stuff will never make you happy.
3.) Old folks were right. Technology is not always a good thing.

There! Three essentials to happy living. To explain: First, I have had some of my most depressed days just sitting around watching TV. Being a stay at home Mom, I have learned that the TV must not even be turned on, because once it's on, it doesn't like to turn off!! It takes over your mind and you become passive and lazy. With the TV off, life turns on. The possibility of the day unfolds to you. You have every opportunity at your feet. Yes, you must do those things that need to get done. But in those spare few minutes you can taste life. A cold glass of ice tea out on the porch. A few pages of a wonderful novel. A brief conversation with a friend. A thankful prayer. A sunset or sunrise (I don't usually make it up for that). Watching the rain fall. Listening to the thunder. Trying out a new recipe. Enjoying a glass of wine. A dinner with friends (at home! I'll come back to that later). Playing with your baby. Smelling the freshly washed clothes you're folding. Watering a few plants. Taking a few pictures. Possibilities are endless. But turn on that TV and your day will suddenly be filled with the latest crappy movie, episodes of CSI, HGTV, you name it. And what did you gain for it? You watched someone else live the life you want. You were tempted by the advertisement of the possession you don't currently own. You saw the preview for the next show or movie coming on. But nothing real.

Back to dinner at home, what is with our culture of eating? So many restaurants. Eating has become entertainment. No wonder we're all so fat. I have recently started the practice of inviting friends to dinner at home, not out at a restaurant. And the experience has been so much better. There is something wonderful about opening your home to friends and family, sharing your life. Getting personal. We are a people of closed doors and not even knowing our neighbors. How sad. So lonely.

My second lesson I've learned, stuff won't make you happy. The laptop, the new car, the new kitchen gadget collecting dust, the cute clothes for the baby, the bigger house, all of it. Just metal, plastic, fabric, wood, nothing. Yet we strive our whole lives for the next purchase. Just a little more. Just one more thing. The newest, latest, greatest whatever. Our houses are the graveyards of Walmart, Target, and department store purchases. Just collecting dust. Rotting. Rusting. Gone.

The third lesson is really about busyness. Are you enjoying life or are you so "plugged in" that you spend all your time reading pointless emails and sending text messages? Are you missing your real life for the little device in your hand? Or the computer on your desk? The phone on your ear? Can you really just turn it off? Not on silent, not on vibrate, but off? What is it that you think you'll miss? Why do you need to know right now? What can't wait an hour, 4 hours, a day? Is it more important than your life? Do you know how to be still? I mean STILL.

Try this for me:

Take one day. One day out of the thousands in your life.

1.) Don't turn on the TV.
2.) Don't buy anything.
3.) Turn off the cell phone, the computer, the blackberry, the trio, all the little buzzing and noisy gadgets of your life.
4.) Learn what it's like to be unreachable.
5.) Watch a sunset
6.) Slow down the pace.


It's just one day. One little day. And everyone has a day. I don't care who you are. All your excuses are bullshit.

Blurrrrrrrrrrrr

OK, I'm back! Sorry, I've been kidnapped by a giant wedding monster. Anyone who's either had a wedding or been in one knows what I'm talking about. The monster devours anyone in its path. But it's all over now. The wedding colors were very beautiful - ivory and apple. I really liked the flower girl's dress. I really liked my dress! Ha. Somehow, I didn't get one damn picture of it though. Bah. Oh well, guess I'll have to wear it again! Hayden stole the show that day. He was absolutely adorable in his little tuxedo. As always, pictures can be found on flickr: http://www.flickr.com/photos/missyyvonne

Last night we had friends over for dinner, it was wonderful! Jin and Hailey are so awesome, we had such a good time! I've recently decided that I want to transform one wall in my dining room into a gallery of photos from all our dinners with friends. I'm still coming up with ideas on how to display the pictures, so if you have any ideas let me know! I'm doing 5x7 photos. I've already sent the first one of Jin, Hailey, Kaizer (their adorable puppy, ok dog), and Hayden to HEB photo. In fact, it's ready now. They're so fast! But seriously guys, I need ideas for displaying the pics. I asked for music recommendations a few posts back and got NOTHING. Soooo, either no one's reading this (which COULDN'T possibly be true ;) ) or you guys don't listen to music (might be true).

And now for a recommendation from me for a romantic 4 minutes and 21 seconds. Regardless of whether you're a country fan or not do the following in the very near future:

1. Wait until dark
2. Clear a space in a room with a stereo or other music playing device
3. Light a few candles
4. Grab two beers from the fridge (your choice)
5. Drink half the beer
6. Throw in Brooks & Dunn Neon Moon
7. Dance with the one you love (or think you love)

(Western wear optional, but fun)

And that's all today folks!

Starting Back Up

Well after my brush with success, I've been slacking. So tomorrow marks my restart of the program. Just a wee bit tired of making food. Honestly, I'm lazy. Plus, our money for groceries is gone for this month - and damnit if I don't keep running out of ingredients. Why does eating healthy have to be so expensive?

Living on a budget certainly complicates things and simplifies them at the same time. Complicated, in that convenience purchases are out; simplified, in that you have less choices on what you can do and buy. This months budget is completely blown. Between birthdays, weddings, and our one date night in 6 months, we've spent way more than we earned.

Monday was date night!! Just Mark and I, no baby. It was great to just be alone, and be us. Not parents. What's wonderful, is that it still feels right. He still makes me laugh, I still love being with him. I hear some people say that when they're alone, they feel awkward. But it's not like that with us. We downed a few drinks at Halcyon, then went for wings at Daddy's. Nothing spectacular, but it was good just to be together and having fun. I hope we can try to do this more than twice a year. Because it's worth every minute.

This week has been interesting. I guess I just have low emotional days or something. For some reason yesterday was rough. I supposed I'm just tired of everyone's drama. I kind of wanted to lock my door and turn off my phone. Just be me. Just be calm. Just be quiet. No backbiting, no complaining, no making people feel ok, no more trying to be everything to everyone. Just me and the silence. Being a Mom takes its toll, which means sometimes I just don't have enough of me to go around. This week the drain has been with family. Mark's brother is getting married this weekend, and of course my mom is an ever present challenge - although our relationship is improving. I'm still getting over the need to win approval from her. Always trying to please everyone, that's my downfall. Trying to please everyone always turns into pleasing no one. Weird how that happens.

I just can't stretch the day out as much as I need. Honestly, there aren't enough hours in the day. Hayden requires almost constant attention at this age. Laundry and dishes continue to pile up. Friends and family need love and support. Mark needs love and support. Plants always need watering. Pets are getting no attention from me. Trying to help out with church. Struggling to make time for God and prayer in my life. Preparing healthy meals, working out 5 days a week. And all the details and little things in between.

Generally, I can do it. But every now and then, I sink. Yesterday was a sinking day. So distracted, so overwhelmed, not knowing which way to turn, basically...tired. So I sunk. But eventually I'll float back to the top. And that's where I am now. Somewhere between the bottom and above water. Hopefully, closer to the surface than the bottom.

And the number is....

So you've all been waiting patiently (or impatiently) to hear the news. So I lost....(drum roll please)...5 lbs.

Which is exactly how much I wanted to lose in two weeks. I have to say the perfectionist in me was disappointed. But the realist said, "Good enough". But, I am happy with my progress so far. I know I've lost inches and started to tone up my arms and legs. I can see that. And it has nothing to do with the scale. I can fit into things I couldn't 2 weeks ago. So there is a lot of progress, just not visible simply through weight.

So now it's time to set new goals! Wooohooo!!

Long term: 33 lbs
Intermediate: 18 lbs
Short: 8 lbs

Realistically, I could lose 8 lbs in 4 weeks. That sets the date as July 16th. Not stepping on the scale everyday was actually very motivating because I never knew if I was on track or not. So I had to eat healthy every day. So once again I'm going to stay off that scale until July 16th. Trust me, this is very, very hard for me. I've had eating "issues", well lets just go ahead and say disorder, in the past - and the scale typically rules my life, even when it's going up instead of down.

The only frustrating part right now is that my arms, chest and legs are getting smaller, but nothing else. HA! And my real issue is of course the belly after the baby. I guess it will take a little while to lose that. So all my shirts fit, but my jeans don't. Argh. My big butt and waist are my stumbling block.

Well that's enough body talk. I had fun taking pics of Hayden this morning: http://www.flickr.com/photos/missyyvonne

Now he's staring at me, smiley. Cute little man! He's almost in 12 month clothes now, so I had to go shopping yesterday. Found some great deals at Target. It's funny how you change, the first clothes I bought because they were cute. Now I buy them because they're cheap! He typically hates wearing the cute stuff anyway. Too many buttons or snaps, or too itchy. Always something. Haha.

I'm also trying to decide whether to buy an exersaucer or one of those stationary bouncers. They kind of look like the exersaucer, but they allow the baby to bounce up and down. I'll probably end up with an exersaucer, since I'm seeing that there are lots for sale on craig's list. For all those buying baby equipment in the near future, this is the place to get it! Save yourself some money.

Well, back to mommy world!!!!

One More Day

One more day...and then I'll be able to see if all this diet and exercise has had any effect. I was so close to jumping on the scale this morning. In fact I was standing in front of it ready to hop on. Argh. But I stopped myself. I said I'd wait till Saturday and I will!!!! So we'll see. Tomorrow will be an interesting blog day. I'll either, A) Be totally pissed off because I haven't lost or B.) Be totally ecstatic with the results.

Hayden is so adorable. I'm upstairs and he's in the swing next to me. He's fallen asleep, but his little head hasn't fallen back on the pillow yet so it's bobbing back and forth. We're so excited because he's starting to learn to crawl. He's figured out how to get on his hands and knees now. And he's even getting on his hands and toes, like a little push up. Strong little bugger. Last night rocked, Hayden slept from 1-8am. Which is not the norm. Usually there are two feedings in there. I think we're finally gonna get some sleep around here.

My arms are sore from my workout yesterday, sheesh. But that's good I guess. I do love these workouts though. However, this week the reps and sets were moved up, so I'm getting my butt kicked.

I saw a full rainbow yesterday. It was beautiful. Unfortunately, I only had my camera phone. So if you want to see it I can send it to your phone. Just let me know. I wish I had had my camera, that would have rocked. Camera phones suck.

Wish me luck for tomorrow!

Only a woman

I'm only a woman
of flesh and bone
and i wept much
we all do.
i thought i might die alone
but i had never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never met you
so baby be good to me.

I got nothin to give you, you see
except everything, everything, everything, everything.
all the good and the bad.
cause i've been bad.
i've lied, cheated, stolen,
and been ungrateful for what i have
and i'm afraid habits rule my wake in life
and i'm scared
and i'm runnin
in my sleep for you.
but all the oceans, and rivers and showers
will wash it all away and make me clean for you.
cause i have never (x15) met you.

so lets take a loan and put it down
on a house in a place we've never lived
in a place that exists
in the pages of scripts and in songs that they sing
and all the beautiful things
that can make you weep but don't have to make you weak
cause i never (x27) love somebody
the way that i loved you.

"I never" - Rilo Kiley


I love this song. I think this is what every girl wants to feel, or at least a girl like me. And I hate when life (or a guy) stomps on you, even if you knew he wasn't Mr. Right. Every girl should be treated like the princess she is. I wish I could protect all my friends from the jerks of this world. I love you sweetie! The good guys are out there. I promise.

On the lighter side, I scoured my closet yesterday to see how the clothes are fitting. And yay! A dress I tried on just 2 weeks ago, that I couldn't zip up, fits!!!! Kudos to me. ;)

P.S. The pic is of me, happy in my dress....haha