There's a Lesson Here

When Hayden was younger, I dreaded baby well checks. In each visit, they always found something wrong. As a new mom, it was nerve racking. The last thing you want to hear is that your baby has a problem.

Taking things for granted

There are so many little things our children do that we take for granted. And if you stop and think about it, they are really miraculous achievements. It's only when, they don't do something that you suddenly appreciate how complicated and difficult it really is. Learning to sit, crawl, eat, walk, and talk. They are all feats of wonder that we should look on with awe.

It's more than just talking

We are all excited to hear that much anticipated "Mommy" or "Daddy", to finally be able to communicate and teach our little ones about our world - but when it doesn't happen - you are led down this Alice and Wonderland world of communication. The word "talking" just doesn't cover it. Receptive language, expressive language, articulation, fluency - the list goes on. From there you go into hearing tests, surgeries, evaluations, and therapy. You learn about programs, therapists, and classes. Techniques, strategies, and sign language. A new world opens up to you.

Shame and guilt

Every parent carries the burden for the life of their child. When something happens, the first question you might ask yourself is "What did I do wrong?" Did I not read to them enough? Or maybe I didn't label items enough? I'm an introvert - maybe that's what's wrong, I don't talk enough? Maybe they didn't get enough vegetables? Or perhaps I shouldn't have said yes to that vaccine? Suddenly, you're questioning every parenting decision you've ever made, looking for the cause.

Losing the bragging game

There's an unspoken game that parents play with each other where we list the achievements and proud parent moments to all who will listen. It's a natural overflow of your delight in your own children, you want everyone to know how special and amazing they are. And we all do it in some form or another. Yet, it seems when you have a child with a disability or some other delay - you slowly learn to step down from this "game". Not because your child isn't amazing and wonderful, but because you now see the other side of this game. How this "measures" them in what they can or can't do and sets up false expectations and disappointments unfairly for them. I know there are many things that at one time or another my children couldn't do, but that doesn't make them any less in my eyes.

Walking with experience

Walking this road once before with Hayden, has prepared me for the battle ahead. Corbin's 18 month well check resulted in what I had expected - a referral for a speech evaluation. Corbin still has no words, and prefers pointing and limited baby sign language as his method of communication. Yet, instead of the fear, disappointment, and confusion I faced the first time around, I meet this with acceptance, peace, and understanding.

Encouragement

Our children and the challenges we've faced so far with them have made us better parents. They've made me cherish every word and achievement, see them for the amazing wonders they are, and have developed peace and patience in me. I wouldn't be the person and mother I am if we hadn't had these struggles. With each new battle I face I now pose the question: What's the lesson here?

What lessons have you learned from either your own struggles or those of your children? How has that helped you today?

Funnies

Hayden:
- Has decided that clothing is "optional"
- Pee pees have a mind of their own - as in Hayden talking to his pee pees - "No pee pees, not in the pants! No no!"
- Mommy: You made a big mess Hayden, do you want to help clean up? Hayden: Umm, no thanks.
-Hayden has made a new "rule" in his room - no socks, for anyone. He always takes his socks off and tosses them outside his room as soon as he gets in. He also tackles Corbin when he comes in and takes his socks off too...with his teeth.
- This week Hayden threw up in the middle of the night. The next morning he informed me that "I spilled...out of my mouth. (Then he reenacted the throw up noise) Sorry, momma. Spankin?" Poor baby. But I love the ingenuity of trying to describe the throwing up without the word knowledge.

Corbin:
- Has an obsessive compulsion to slam closed any open drawers - regardless of whether your hand is still in there or not.
- After a year of refusing to eat any kind of baby food, he has finally decided (at 18 months) that he likes it. Better late than never???
- His constant companion is his stuffed dog - never leaves his side. Corbin shows his love by biting on his nose and butt. Poor puppy.
- Has a fascination with all items that have a tag, he carries them around like blankets. Including dirty clothes from the hamper - Hayden's underwear is no exception, bleh! Crazy critter.

Recycling my life...again

I've been thinking a lot about a post I wrote a few years back about recycling your life. The idea was to look at your life and find ways to enjoy the things you already have. Maybe it's an old CD you haven't listened to in awhile, a candle you got for Christmas six years ago, or a book you bought but never read.

Stuffed full...of stuff

We have access to SO MUCH these days. Even if you aren't wealthy by this country's standards, it's still staggering the amount of possessions we accumulate and how much we simply just throw away.

With this year's theme of simplify, I'm simplifying our finances to cut out frivolous spending on just these type of items. So I need to find ways to entertain our family this year with the possessions we already have. Which, honestly, won't be difficult. I am a bit of a hoarder - yes, I can admit it. My first thought is always - maybe I'll need this one day. No there aren't stacks of newpapers lining the walls of my house, or 50 cans of cream corn hanging out in my pantry - but I have found ways to amass plenty of "stuff".

Am I alone in this obsession? Does anyone else have bookcases crammed with books on every topic from parenting to poetry? Kept every CD they ever loved, even if the thought of listening to it brings cringing or outright laughter? Have twenty board games they play maybe twice a year? Keep gardening seed packets from the last decade? (Hehe, of course now that it's 2010, that could mean like from last week!!) Random plastic parts that "go to something"? Every paper clip, rubber band, and twisty tie that every came through your door? Clothes that either don't fit, or you never wear because honestly, you don't like them but won't admit it?

No? Ok, well maybe that's just me.

Things left undone

Another problem I have is failing to finish what I start. I have dozens, no probably hundreds, of unfinished projects. And yet, I continue to start more each year. Simplifying my finances also means there won't be money for new projects. Instead, I am going to focus on finishing the ones I've already started AND have all the materials for. I have no excuse for boredom with all of these projects waiting to be finished. I, also, have no excuse for spending more money, when I've already wasted so much buying things I never finished.

Moving forward

I can't change the past, but I can move forward in simplicity by repurposing our old possesions, finishing up those things that I've left undone, and just enjoy what we have. I hope to be able to blog about my "finds" while recycling our life. In honor of that, this post's picture is "recycled" from three years ago - a camping trip we took with our Real Life Group.

This week's finds:

Pulled out one of my old favorite purses for a "new" purse feel.
A credit at Blockbuster provided a movie night on Saturday.

What do you think about "recycling your life"? Do you have possessions that you are thinking of "recycling" back into usefulness?

End of the Season

It hit me today that Christmas is over. I was driving Hayden to school for his first day back, and he sadly noted - "No more lights?". The last month's drive to school has been a bit of a winter wonderland with all the decorations and lights our neighbors had put up in their yards, but now that's all gone. All that's left is empty lawns and dead grass.

There is something depressing for me about January. We spend half the year in anticipation or celebration of the holidays, only to be met with another 6 months of nothing after it's all over. Our only reprieve is Easter, but that's a long way off. The world "sleeps" through this season in anticipation of Spring.

This winter I refuse to allow myself to just drudge through. There must be something good about winter. So I'm making a list of what's good. This is what I have so far:

- Soup! Soup definitely tastes the best during winter. I will have to add soups to our menu.
- Superbowl? Although I only follow college football, I do love a good Superbowl party! I think we may have to invite a few friends over now that we have a new TV worthy of such an event (Our Christmas present to each other this year was a new TV, hehe).
- Warm nights snuggled under the covers. We have a down comforter which is sort of miserable the rest of the year - but perfect every winter. I need to enjoy it while it lasts.
- Tea. Hot tea is best enjoyed if it's warming you up!
- Occasional flurries. Ok, let's be real - this isn't an often occurrence in this area, but just the possibility brings excitement and joy to everyone!

What do you enjoy about winter? Do you get "down" during this season too? Or do you find ways of making it enjoyable? What do you do to keep busy?

Pantry Adventure

Part of my new theme this year was to simplify. One aspect of that was to simplify not only our diets, but our finances.

Pantry Overload

In 2008 (wow, that seemed like a few months ago, not years), I wrote a post on how much food I had unconsciously "hoarded" into my pantry. I spent that month using up the ingredients in my pantry and freezer instead of running out to the grocery store for meals ingredients.

It was amazingly freeing and once again I find a need to go through my pantry and freezer. Although I have made permanent changes to my grocery habits to ensure I don't "collect" as much food (like weekly meal planning), it still has added up over the last few years.

The Challenge

Using up food you have already at home is also easier on the budget! Instead of spending $50 or more in food, this week's grocery bill was under $16. And, no, we aren't eating rice and beans for every meal. If you are looking for ways to save money this month AND simplify your pantry and freezer, I'd highly recommend going on a Pantry Adventure. There's even a "blog" challenge occurring right now over at Money Saving Mom (a new favorite blog I've found). And if your stuck on trying to create actual meals out those random ingredients - try this! It's a casserole "formula" for taking just about anything and making it into dinner. I know I'll be testing this out in the weeks to come.

What do you have lingering in your pantry or freezer? Can you survive a nuclear attack for years to come with your hoarding? Or are you the Spartan - keeping only mustard and ice cubes?

Birthday

In all the craziness of the holidays, I didn't post a thing about my 29th birthday! Yes, this is my last year of 20s - sniff sniff. But I think I'll survive.

The Cake

Here's the gorgeous cake (thanks Jenny!):



Daffodils are my favorite flowers! The cake was four layers with lemon filling - YUM!

The Party

The party was a bit bamboozled by the crazy weather and date changes - but it was still great to see a few friends and relax! I may have to schedule a "do-over" though, because I have a great gift certificate to The Cupcake Bar that I need to use up before November! So me, and nine of my nearest and dearest friends can stuff ourselves with yummy cupcakes decorated by cupcake "bartenders"! Sounds like a blast, start sucking up now for your place (just kidding, hehe).

The Gift

I was showered with wonderful gifts by my friends, everything from dinner and a movie out to a new game I'm addicted to called Set. Also out of that birthday party I snagged a new camera from the hubby (our old one bit the dust last Fall) - a Canon Rebel T1i. So I've been having LOTS of fun with that ever since.

It's always been a lifelong dream of mine to learn more about photography, so I was really excited to finally get a DSLR. Since then, I've been driving our kids batty with lots of "shoots", haha.

But even photos with my new fancy camera can't compensate for the fact that the kids generally either have A.) boogers all over their face or B.) No pants on.

Or my choices in location. Like in this shot where Hayden looks adorable, but the background with Peter from the Family Guy in his underwear, is really, well, NOT.


A "real" photographer would probably have caught on to that and turned off the TV. Oops.

You'll finally be seeing my Flickr account active again, since I don't really want to store all these photos just on my computer. These files can be really large before processing them down! I'd, also like to keep track of my photography progress online. I think keeping track of another blog would be overkill, but maybe a weekly posting to this one along with Flickr would be enough. So look for more photos to be gracing my posts!

Anyone else get anything needed or just "desired" for Christmas/holidays that has really impacted you? I'd love to hear about it!

A Fresh Start in 2010

I have to admit, I love getting a fresh start. 2010 is not only a new year - it's a new decade! A new year has so much possibility. Will this be the year I get in shape? Get organized? Become super mom? Finally get consistent on a daily quiet time? Stay on budget?

I don't ever do new year's resolutions, but I do enjoy the clean slate "feel" of a new year and each year I focus on a theme. In 2008 I ushered in the year of "Right Now", 2009 was the year of "Held", this year my theme is Simplify.

Simplify my material possessions.

Do I really need hundreds of books, DVDs, 2 crockpots, every scrap of paper since 1998, and 50 strands of christmas lights? Do my children need every toy, book, and movie that comes out so that my house is one giant tangle of Elmo, Thomas the Train, and those freaky singing stuffed animals? Seven different sizes of clothing on the off chance that I might someday lose 30 lbs? Twenty pairs of shoes, because, well, you never know, I might be wearing that prom dress one day (right after I lose 20 lbs) and I'll need those shoes!

Simplify my time.

This year finds me shuttling Hayden to school for his speech therapy. I was going to attempt to still do ladies bible study in spite of the fact that it starts at 9:30 and Hayden gets out of school at 9:45. This would have me arriving around 10 or 10:15 each Thursday and rushing to drop off kids at childcare and sit in on the last few minutes of group discussion before we all head to watch the lecture. In my new lens of simplification, I see how ridiculous this is. When I attempted it the last day this fall, I was completely frazzled and disoriented arriving late, and it wasn't enjoyable. So I will be sitting this semester out.

Simplify my diet

My life has been changed doing The Lord's Table courses (I'm finishing up the second one). My perspective on food and diets has been radically altered. I'm learning to recognize cravings as the deceptions they are - they don't really provide any meaningful satisfaction - and turning away from food as an emotional support. In response to that, I have less need to eat out several times a week, or purchase craving-satisfying food. I have been making simple, but nourishing meals for my family at home, which is much easier on the wallet. That brings me to my next point...

Simplify my finances

This week I finished up the budget for January 2010. I have made some drastic changes and some lofty goals. After reading this post, where a family has saved 100% of their money to buy a house, I decided that it was totally possible for Mark and I to pay off our house over the next four years. This means I've reduced our spending to only the necessities, and even then there are plenty of frivolous categories that still linger.

Simplify my parenting

I made a decision long ago not to overdose myself on the latest parent psychology, but nevertheless, it slowly finds its way in via snippets on TV, in magazines, blogs, or through other parents. I think it would be mind boggling and completely overwhelming to read EVERY parenting philosophy or idea out there and so I choose to say NO. Can I simply reduce my parenting to:

1 part love
1 part patience
1 part teaching
1 part discipline

Being sure that one part does not overpower the others? As in, I'm not scolding all the time, but also not ignoring all their misbehavior. I recognize that they are still small children, yet also strive to teach them daily. Showing them love and affection daily. Doesn't that seem like the gist of this parenting thing?

Now that I've spelled out my theme for the year, I'd love to hear from you guys! Do you do resolutions? What are they? If not, do you do something else?