Monday, December 10, 2007

The Season of Half-Dones

This time in my life is definitely the seasons of half-dones. What does that mean? I have completed half of every project I start, but never finished. Maybe it's fatigue, maybe it's the baby, maybe I'm just lazy.

My Half-Dones:

1.) I have decorated half the tree...the top still needs to be finished
2.) We decorated half the yard
3.) I did half the laundry and put up half of the clothes I did do
4.) I have purchased about half of our xmas gifts this year
5.) I completed half the work of xmas cards. I made the cards, now I just need to address and send them
6.) I vacuumed half the living room today
7.) I uploaded half the pictures I need to print for my grandmother

I'm sure there's more. Plus all the projects that are less than half done or not even started!!! Ack.

Ah, this is the season for busyness.

Anyway, interesting stuff on my mind despite all the crap I haven't done. I got a card from my grandmother this weekend. The dreaded card. This is not the grandmother I know and love, but my biological Dad's mom who I haven't seen since I was, oh, 6. Nevertheless, she never misses a birthday or Christmas and always includes a little check and stories of how the family is doing. I do my best to reply and say thanks, but I admit I'm not good at it, and often forget. I just don't know her and I'm not sure what to say. This year I get the card and instantly my guilt factor rises. I know I should write her more, I don't even remember if I said thanks last year. Plus she always includes great nuggets of guilt, like I'd like to hear from you, or I'm not doing well, etc. I'm sure this card is like the other 20 I've gotten over the years. Lots of detail on how the family (who I don't know) is doing and a small check for the bday. I open the card and it's 2 lines, no check.

I'm not sure why this is bothering me so much. I never cared about the check, it's usually like 10 bucks, and the details always made me feel guilty or clueless. But somehow I felt like I had been given up on. And to know that your grandmother, even one you don't know, gave up on you, well I guess that hurts.

Now I'm in make-up mode and am putting together a photo album for her of the kiddo. I dunno why, but maybe it'll make me feel better.

Whatever. Just one of those great parts of having such a jacked up family. Yay!


Shelley said...'s about like my adoptive-step-dad's father (pseudo-grampa) who never has called me by my correct name and only sends cards and a small check to my sister each year... I haven't seen him since Dad passed away 6 years ago...before that it was at least 20 years? I understand the dysfunctional jacked up family. I have to do the mental talk to keep my eyes from rolling when I SEE my not-real name written on any correspondence to my sister. Half baked. HA... Hugs girly.

Anonymous said...

I think each of us have a jacked up family in some way. Don't feel too bad about it all...but I do think the photo album is a good thing to do. Esp since your lazy butt maybe didn't even say thanks last year lol. Sounds like me with my dad and stepmom. ;)

Shelley said...

Queso! Now THAT is something I never leave half done nor half eaten! Great idea Jenny! you think that queso would be an inspiration to get anything done?

Lindi said...

I guess the old saying is true. It's not whether or not your family is crazy but which side is absolutely nuts.

Family dynamics are hard to fathom. I suppose because they take a whole lot more work than most people are willing to admit or put in the effort. Take heart. I don't think you're forgotten. At least you received a card which indicated that you're still thought about. I bet your grandmother is just as confused and scared as you are and is trying to reach out and love you as best she can. She's still here in this world so you can reach out and show her your life. You haven't been forgotten. Not by a long shot. Good luck with all that cleaning and stuff. I'm off to do laundry myself.... h0pefully i'll complete most of it.