Release

We're finally company-free tonight. And it feels really good. I feel like my true purpose and duties always get clouded when I'm trying to please someone else. And I suppose they do.

Now I need to pick up the pieces of my real life and put everything back in order. What does Mark need? Have I been supporting him? I haven't gotten to talk to him. What does he need me to do?

Time to get the kids off the TV and back into the family world.

Time to get back to the running of the house.

I used to feel overwhelmed by the duties that can back up while you're entertaining, now I'm energized by them. I feel out of sorts if I'm not doing them, and happy to get back to my own life.

I'm a "pleaser" personality, and it's draining for me when I am unable to "please" someone even when I'm trying so hard. I always feel like I fail at that with my mom. I just need to realize that there is nothing I can do to please her. My duties are to my husband and children, not to her. My worth comes from my relationship with God, not my relationship with her. And that's ok.

So I feel a release when the visit is over. I can go back to being myself. Let my guard down. Put my focuses back where they should be, and never should have left.

I love my mother. All I want is for her to be happy with me. I've been striving for it my whole life. And that's the problem.

But I guess that's the mother/daughter drama eh? I may open up comments on this one for some discussion. Do you have a good relationship with your mother? How have you worked through your conflicts? What attitudes/perspective have you achieved?

Something Out of Nothing

This is another one of those saving money posts. So if you're not interested in saving money, step away from the computer and go do something expensive, like shopping.

How many of you plan out your meals for the week? I think this is the biggest thing you can do to save money on food - both groceries AND eating out. Granted, I'm horrible at planning meals. It takes thought and time - two things I have low supply on these days.

Yet, when I do sit down and do it. Food possibilities magically open up to me, ones that I would NEVER have come up with say, 15 minutes before dinner.

Let's take this week for instance. I wanted to spend the least amount of money possible on groceries and not eat out this week. Mark and I worked on the budget last night and I got my "number" for the month on what we can spend on groceries and eating out. Before you start thinking we have it together, be aware that we've been going with no budget for months now. This is our first month back "on budget". A kitchen remodel will do that to you...

I love it when Mark just gives me a number. Spend this. It's like a challenge. First, how great of deals can I get? Second, how much can I save? I love having "extra" money left over only because I was a wise shopper that month. But most importantly, I love having a "number" to spend because I never feel guilty about any of my purchases. When we off budget, my mind also nags me - you don't really need that. But when I know I haven't exceeded our money, I am free to get us those little "extras" if there's any left over.

So this month I wanted to start off right. I knew we had lots of food that could be the start of "meal makings". For instance, we have dry rice and beans. A great combo to make Spanish rice and a large pot of beans. That's dinner tonight.

Rice I make by following the cooking directions, but also adding 2 chicken bouillon cubes and a can of diced tomatoes with green chilies. Since I had it all but the diced tomatoes with green chilies, that meal only added on item to the grocery list. About 74 cents.

Beans are just soaked overnight, then cooked a couple hours with cilantro, garlic, onions, and the seasonings of my choice (mostly salt and pepper, haha). We had onions leftover from the bag I bought weeks ago, I bought a LARGE container of garlic cloves awhile back and put it in the freezer, and now all I needed was cilantro. So put cilantro down (only 50 cents by the way).

We are big tortilla eaters in this house, so we still had some corn tortillas left, but I put my special flour ones I like on the grocery list too. Again, 99 cents for 20 tortillas.

Granted, you may not have dry rice or beans in your pantry. But I highly recommend adding it to your list! I can make steamed rice, fried rice, add rice to a casserole dish or soup. Beans can be refried for breakfast tacos or a side with dinner. And both of those items are dirt cheap.

The next meal I got was pure luck. Last week on impulse I had thrown a tortilla soup mix in the cart. We love it. It's cheap for the amount of soup it makes. You add 8 cups of watter to the mix and that's it! I generally like to boil and shred chicken to add to it. It makes the soup stretch further. I always buy the big bag of frozen chicken breasts. Those are around 10 bucks and last us 2 weeks if we don't have folks over for dinner. One chicken breast shredded typically is enough for the soup. The soup mix is a little less than 4 dollars. Which isn't bad since it serves 4. Bake some of your tortillas for chips or buy a bag of tortilla chips. We like the blue corn tortilla chips since they are low in fat, but they are more expensive. It's one of our "luxuries".

Now that I had two meals down that both produce LOTS of leftovers, Wednesday is a freebie. Leftover night. Take your pick between rice and beans or tortilla soup or both! They all go together.

Thursday is an easy meal. Spaghetti!! Most of the time I just make tons of spaghetti and skip the sides. We're happy with that. But if you need variety on your plate, add some zucchini or asparagus. Zucchini is the cheaper route, but we LOVE asparagus and get it at least a few times a month. Zucchini is super easy to make. Just slice up and put in a pan with a small amount of olive oil. Add salt, pepper, and garlic salt. Cook until tender. Yummy!! I usually buy the spaghetti sauce in the jars. I used to buy the cheapest kind (less than a dollar), but lately I've been going the more natural/organic route and get Prego's organic mushroom. It's a little more expensive (2.50 I think), but it's the cheapest organic sauce I've found. Once my tomato plants start producing, I think I'll try my hand at homemade!

We always have spaghetti leftovers, so Friday is a repeat. Plus I NEVER feel like cooking on friday and I know it. So planning a cooked meal that day is just silly. We just rummage around and eat whatever is left from the week.

Saturday is tacos - another cheap and easy meal. I like to use the taco seasoning packs for flavor. Add whatever you love to the tacos. Pico de gallo, lettuce, avocado, whatever.

Sunday is a treat. I love IKEA meatballs, cream sauce, and lingonberry sauce. Yum!! I bought the frozen meatballs, sauce mix and jar of sauce a few weeks ago. It makes about 3 meals in my opinion.

Oatmeal makes cheap breakfasts. If you want a "treat" buy those muffin packets - I had one left in my pantry for apple cinnamon muffins that I might whip up this week. Simple lunches of sandwiches or salads are cheap too. Also, eating the left overs for lunch is a big money saver.

Often if I'm doing a special diet, I'll make Mark the "menu" then pick and choose from it and add my own "diet" foods. Like no sugar, or carbs. Often the few foods I need to add to supplement any dieting aren't expensive if I don't try to make the whole family eat that way. Add a 3 lb ground beef, sausage links, veggies and cheese to the grocery list and you have the makings of low carb food. This also makes the leftovers last longer because I'm not eating as much of the "menu" food.

Anyway, this week I got out of the grocery store under $30!!!!!! Of course every week won't be that way, but buying in bulk and using what I have left over has been key to me saving us money.

But even if I hadn't had a lot of that on hand, it would only have been around 20-30 more, which is still not bad. And those additional items would have been more than one meal. Like buying a bag of frozen chicken or dry rice.

How the Zavalas Roll...Exile Style

This is how we roll...

Zavala's current residence: ExtendedStay
Number of days Zavala's are exiled to ES: 4...or more?
Number of days remodeling crew has been trying to remove gigantic chunks of old grout on our floors: 3
Number of family members with stomach virus: 3
Family member to obtain bug first: Melissa
Family member to obtain bug last: Mark
Family member with the most bugs: Hayden with strep and stomach bug
Number of times I've cleaned up puke: 3
Number of times Hayden has vomited in the car: Once, while waiting in the drive thru at McDs...yummy.
Zavalas favorite beverage of choice: Gatorade please!
Zavalas food of choice: Chicken noodle soup
Hayden's food of choice: popcorn
Number of days without checking email: 2!!!
Days it took for ExtendedStay to get there internet/phone/cable working: 1
Signal strength of their wireles: Very low
Book I've engrossed myself in for the last day: Twilight...oh Edward!
Number of diapers I've changed today: 15
Food that most reminds me of puke: Strawberries and Cream Oatmeal
First food I craved post puke coma: Animal crackers
Number of hallway walks Hayden and I have taken today: 3
Number of cameras that are not lost, but not "findable" either: 2, located under 3 sheets of plastic in our living room
Number of ECI appointments cancelled due to illness:2
Number of other events cancelled this week: 4
Number of meals eaten in the last 2 days: 1, and oh how good it feels to eat again

Friday Randomness

Do you like Friday Randomness? Well you better, cause here it goes:

The Zavalas have instituted a family dance night. We had our second one last night. I compiled a few of my favorite dance songs and we boogied. Our song list this time:

1. Could You Be Loved - Bob Marley
2. Got to Give it Up - Marvin Gaye
3. Coconut - Harry Nilsson
4. Gettin Jiggy With It - Will Smith
5. Starry Eyed Surprise - Oakenfold
6. Thriller - Michael Jackson
7. Bolero - Maurice Ravel

I love me some Bob Marley as you know, and Could You Be Loved is Hayden's favorite song. And if you're not rockin to Marvin Gaye, well - then you don't have ears. Be sure to pass the Margaritas for Coconut and bounce da booty for Getting Jiggy. I seriously wish I could still roller skate when I hear Starry Eyed and in honor of Halloween I threw in Thriller. Don't forget to pay homage to the classics with Bolero - the techno version this time.

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Today was Corbin's 4 month checkup. 12 lbs 13 oz and 24 " That's my boy! Nothing new to report there, just the dreaded vaccines, yuck!

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The hubby and I have a DATE NIGHT tomorrow. We are so lame we don't even know where we are going yet. Last time we had a date night we ALMOST went toilet shopping at Lowe's. Instead we went to a movie, Fool's Gold, hmmm, nothing spectacular there, maybe we should have gone toilet shopping.

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We finally decided on our kitchen remodel. We're going with a local couple who handcrafts their cabinets. I'm really excited...and poorer. They should be done in a month. The complete job should be done around Dec. 6th. We are getting new cabinets, Affinity counter tops, new tile floors, undermounted sink, and a bunch of other stuff. I think I've decided on the counter tops, I just need to pick the tile to make sure it all matches.

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I was reading Hohnstreiterrific and thought I could use a bit of enlightenment myself in this area. So I think I'm going to listen to the series too. Ok, not think, I actually did listen to the first part yesterday. One of the first points: Be Honest. So here it goes:

Lest you think otherwise:

1. My house is generally in some state of disaster. I clean the main areas before you come over. No it's not always like that.

2. When I smile sweetly as my toddler throws a tantrum, I'm really thinking "This is so freakin embarassing, why can't you just behave? Ok, I'm just going to look cool and act like it doesn't bother me even though I want to strangle him."

3. I struggle with my weight. I have my whole life. I lose weight, then gain, then lose, then... In fact I was down 18 lbs, and now it's only 15!! Gasp. It's a process.

4. My period that I "thought" was happening a few weeks ago like didn't happen. I dunno my body is weird. So bwaahaahaaahaaahaaaaaa!

5. Sometimes my friends drive me nuts and I want to slap them up side the head. And vice versa. Thank you all for not slapping me - I don't take criticism well.

6. Let me say that again, I don't take criticism well.

7. I compare myself to others - a lot. I can drive myself nuts doing this. She's skinnier, they are so sweet together, wow what a nice house, man their kids are well mannered, etc.

8. I really like it when y'all comment (yeah I said y'all). And when you don't, I get sad :(

9. I'm addicted to reading blogs!!!!!!!!!

10. And if I'm going to be really really really honest.....please don't kill me for this one...oh it hurts to admit this...I missed the deadline to register to vote by one day. :( Yes I am a crappy American, I know this. I'm working on it. In public, I will still deny this truth.

11. I've been dodging the whole political issue on this blog because I don't like debating and I don't like confrontation and arguments. I love you no matter what your political views are.

12. I know, I know, I'm a crappy American, can we get past this and still be friends?

13. I really want to erase #10 from this list, but I'm not. I'm being real. It hurts, but there it is. No lectures please or I'll never be real on this blog.

Okay there's a lot more, but I don't want to scare everyone off in one post so that'll do.
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And that's friday's randomness.

Yes I'm Still Pregnant. Yes I know I'm huge...thanks!

Today has reminded me that I am indeed still pregnant. Lest I forget. Because...ya know...it's so easy to forget. I actually ventured out of the house today and went to Baby Earth, JC Penny's, Walmart, TGI Fridays, and Primo's all before noon. And at just about every place I heard..."Wow, when are you due? It must be soon!"

Ya think? Why I had totally forgotten, but that's right! My due date is July 3rd.

YES IT'S SOON PEOPLE! YES I'M MISERABLE! YES I'M ENORMOUS, I'M VERY AWARE OF THAT FACT! AND YES, IT IS HOT OUT THERE!

Hence, all the walking around people. Let's get this baby show on the road. But alas, nothing. Time to pull out all the stops, I may just have...to...have...SEX! I hear that works well. And there's nothing like having sex at 9 and 3/4 months pregnant! I'm not a small girl to begin with, now add a beach ball to the equation and you have the next episode of SNL (Saturday Night Live, for those living under a rock). Last week we attempted this circus act and it was hilarious...and a bit dangerous. I won't go into details.

But dang Corbin!! Talk about taking your sweet time, don't you know Momma don't want no 10 pounders??!!! So please, for the love of my hoo-haa come out!

A Day of Unplugged...Sort of

Yesterday I was watching my toddler being mesmerized by the TV and realized he looked like a zombie. Not the "I'm gonna eat your entrails Mom" type zombie, but a catatonic dazed zombie. This can't be good. This kind of passive activity must be harmful. He should be interacting and playing, not being bombarded with TV crap.

So today I turned off the TV. I usually have it going for background noise since it can get kind of lonely here during the day. Or I'll use it while I take a shower or cook for a babysitter. Or if I'm tired we'll just watch TV to entertain us. But not really, daytime TV can't really be considered entertainment. I might throw in a Disney movie for some peace and quiet on the hard days.

But besides Hayden, what is this crap doing to me? I watch this mindless junk and it sucks. All of this crap sucks. Stupid court TV, gameshows, reality TV, it's all dumb. Why do I even have this crap on? Why am I watching this ridiculous dribble? I feel dumber for having watched it.

So today I turned off the TV. But ACK! What does one do with all this damn time now? The day drags without the mindless blaring of ridiculous shows. Even if I wasn't watching, it somehow marked the time. Now there is this silence. This empty mind thing. I think even Hayden is feeling it. Like what should we do now?

We built a fort out of blankets, the couch, and a chair. Hayden thought it was better to do a body flop on top of the blanket then get under it. HA!

We wrestled (his favorite activity).

We wandered around the house.

We looked at books.

We did some dishes.

We did some laundry.

We mostly looked at each other and wondered..what's next?

Crap, without hours and hours taken up - now we have to live life. A real life. Not watch someone else live theirs.

Hmmm...if only it wasn't so hot out, I think I could keep us busy. But this preggo aint leaving the house.

Anyway, so today I turned off the TV, and started the withdrawal.