Monday, June 23, 2008

Yes I'm Still Pregnant. Yes I know I'm huge...thanks!

Today has reminded me that I am indeed still pregnant. Lest I forget. Because...ya know...it's so easy to forget. I actually ventured out of the house today and went to Baby Earth, JC Penny's, Walmart, TGI Fridays, and Primo's all before noon. And at just about every place I heard..."Wow, when are you due? It must be soon!"

Ya think? Why I had totally forgotten, but that's right! My due date is July 3rd.

YES IT'S SOON PEOPLE! YES I'M MISERABLE! YES I'M ENORMOUS, I'M VERY AWARE OF THAT FACT! AND YES, IT IS HOT OUT THERE!

Hence, all the walking around people. Let's get this baby show on the road. But alas, nothing. Time to pull out all the stops, I may just have...to...have...SEX! I hear that works well. And there's nothing like having sex at 9 and 3/4 months pregnant! I'm not a small girl to begin with, now add a beach ball to the equation and you have the next episode of SNL (Saturday Night Live, for those living under a rock). Last week we attempted this circus act and it was hilarious...and a bit dangerous. I won't go into details.

But dang Corbin!! Talk about taking your sweet time, don't you know Momma don't want no 10 pounders??!!! So please, for the love of my hoo-haa come out!

9 comments:

AndreAnna said...

I keep getting the same comments. Mostly, people just feel sorry for me. LOL

I'm going to try that sex thing soon, once I can figure out a way to work it. LOL

We had no issues in our sex life until I got this big, and like you said, I'm not small to begin with and neither is my 6'4, 275-lb husband, so um....I guess we'll get creative? LOL

Just Me said...

Yeah I love the books/sites that tell you to get "creative"...I'm like - just give me a diagram, I'm too clueless to figure it out. I don't want my girlie bits maimed during the brainstorming process. =P

Amanda said...

Ha Ha!! Well, number one, thanks for your honesty! I have never been in your situation so I can't relate except in the clueless part. :)

And number two, I think "for the love of my hoo-haa, come out!" is my new favorite quote!!

Anonymous said...

Um, Think like a dog...is that enough of a visual for you,lol.

Gail said...

Does it have to be actual sex sex?? Or like is it just orgasm that supposabley does the trick?
Great topic,lol.

Shelley said...

*ROTFLM*O* I now know where to go for info in the future! Waiting impatiently with you for Corbin...

Just Me said...

From what I understand, it's actually both. The orgasm causing contractions to start and the sperm thinning the cervix or something like that. Haha.

And yes, that's the only position we've found that has any, uh, success. And don't I feel glamorous with my big preggo but up in the air, but I guess we all have to make sacrifices. HA! Ok TMI.

Uncle Mikey said...

Mel,

Great, candid post today! But... uh... uncle Mikey's eyes are bleeding from reading this conversation! Bow wow.

LeftyMama said...

TMI! TMI! Seriously, I appreciate your candor immensely. This is what married life is really like, and if you can't tell your friends the truth, well, who can ya? When I was big preggo, we had the most success (i.e., least hilarity & discomfort) with the spooning, scissor-legs position. Lots of pillows in strategic places helped, too. Good luck!