Saturday, June 28, 2008

Corbin's Arrival Part III

So my water was broken and I was definitely have this baby.

At this point they sent in the "world's most incompetent" midwife assistant. She was left to watch me labor and take vital signs on the hour. I call her incompetent because every time she took my blood pressure she had to pump up the cuff no less than 4 times, leaving me with completely numb fingers. At if that wasn't bad enough, her blood pressure readings weren't even right. She kept coming up with 110/60. I have NEVER been 60 in my life. I'm more of a 70 or even 80 girl. So I know that was complete crap. She could at least use a thermometer correctly though. So I guess I should be thankful for that.

I was instructed to start walking...haha, around the room. This felt really dumb to me. Have you ever tried "walking" in your bedroom? Yeah, it is as dumb as it sounds. So I walked from one side of the bed to the other...and then back...and then again...and back.

So yeah, then it all gets very painful from this point on. We end up in the jacuzzi tub when the labor pains get intense. Mark is now trapped at the side of the tub, forced to endure my torturous hand squeezing. Dilation is not coming along after an hour or so. I apparently have (or had) a tight cervix. So they came in with this horrible tasting herbal drink. So horrible that they also gave me a popsicle to suck on after each gulp. I mean this stuff was nasty!! Just keeping it down was a struggle. The drink was supposed to relax me and my cervix, haha.

By this point I really felt like pushing, but the cervix wasn't cooperating, so I had to hold off. I had now given up on the whole "just relax and go with it" style of laboring. My deep breathing wasn't doing squat and these contractions hurt like a mother. So I moved on to the "vocalization" method or the "scream and grunt like a wild animal" method. I highly recommend it. A few well placed gripes at your husband also go well with this.

The midwife pulled out the pool noodles to help me not drown myself in the tub - where were those during Hayden's birth? They sort of helped...I guess. Then she was back to telling me to squat in the tub to help dilate more. Damn cervix. Yeah, squatting + contractions = death. Finally, she said we needed to move to the birthing chair - I needed gravity to help me out. So no water birth. At this point, I would have birthed anywhere.

Now that sounds easy enough...move to the birthing chair...but have you ever tried to get out of a tub almost 10 months pregnant and during contractions??!! You've got to be kidding me. How am I supposed to get my leg up over this 2 foot ledge? And on top of that, I was starting to get leg cramps. Argh. Somehow I got out.

The birthing chair is basically a U shaped piece of metal - uh my butt wasn't exactly made to sit on something like that. So that was interesting. With some pushing out popped his head, but then...he had big shoulders!! Argh. So a lot of "little" pushes were required. With 2 legs in the air and lots of pushing out splashed Corbin. They almost didn't catch him!! Sheesh. And that was that. Hehe, ok not really - but I'll leave out all the gory details since I know some of you first time preggos are reading. We'll just say birth is a, uh, messy activity - I wouldn't wear anything you want to keep.

Oh, and for those who were interested in the labor race - I won. Corbin was born on the 24th at 11:47pm and my friends baby was born on the 25th.

Corbin was 8 lbs, 3 oz and 20 inches.

And that's how Corbin arrived!

3 comments:

AndreAnna said...

How exciting!

It's cool to hear a different side of a typical hospital birth, because I fully intend to camp out at my hospital to ensure I get my epidural. :)

I did always want to try the water birth; however, I'd like to skip the whole pain part. LOL

Congrats again!

Robyn said...

Remind me to tell you about messiness... let's just say I'm glad I was wearing a hospital gown, and my doctor's comment was "I've never seen *that* before!"

Glad you won the race! And I can't wait to see Corbin!

Gail said...

I think I am changed my mind....