I'm an outdoor mom

I've come to realize that I'm an outdoor mom. I much prefer to spend my days outside with my boys than stay cooped up inside all day with two crazy monkeys.

Maybe it's because I have two BOYS... I don't know, but dealing with them all day within the confines of our house is maddening.

The fighting, whining, crying, etc is just too much to take some days.

But nice long days spent outside getting dirty, sweaty, rough and tumble boys is just what they need.

They play hard, have lots of fun, nature adventures and go to bed happy...and so do I.

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Taking off our Goggles

Haha. So I got a lot of different reactions to my Unplugging post (most specifically about FB) and it left me thinking. Which is good - that's why I love your comments. We all live such different lives and come through different experiences to get us where we are right now. I love that.

We each have our own unique perspective on the world and until someone pulls off our "goggles" and let's us try on theirs - we sometimes miss that not everything works or is "good" for someone else. I think that's one of the things that can bother me the most about blogs and FB - negativity and judgments.

Here's a small example of what I'm talking about:

A while back, I came across a post on a blog I read regularly that was pretty critical and judgmental, and even a bit proud and boastful. The content of the post was about taking your kids to the dentist and and how well her child behaved - so much so that the dentist complemented her on it. She then contrasted that with another child she saw throwing a fit in another room. From that she went on to bullet points on why she was a good parent and inferring probably why this other child was having difficulties.

The "abridged" version of the points:

1. It starts with good parenting.
2. We don't project our feelings onto our kids.
3. We prepare them in advance for what will happen, and I tell them what is expected of them.
4. We don't ever mention needles, or fear, or drills.
5. We really praise them for doing a good job after.

(Another point was that her kids don't watch a lot of TV - a hot topic among moms - and that they liked watching the shows at the dentist more than other kids because of that).

These, of course, are all wonderful points for preparing your child for the dentist.

However, is the comparing and judging of other children really necessary? In our day, we see a "snapshot" of some else's life...not the full picture - we have no idea what's truly going on in the next office over and patting ourselves on the back for being "better" than another parent is a bad habit to get into (believe me, I'm guilty of it too!!).

And so, I needed to give her my "goggles" to adjust her perspective, so I sent her this:

I think experiences are also a factor. My son has had a lot of doctor visits, surgeries, tests, hospital stays and poking and prodding for all three years of his life. All of this has added up to him having a general fear of all doctor related visits, because despite any confidence building - most of his visits DO hurt or are uncomfortable (i.e. shots, drawing blood, ear drum vibration tests, people holding him down against his will).

At this point, even bribery has no effect, let alone talking about what will happen. I'm afraid it will take him longer to get over this.

Also, if they have language and hearing disabilities, sometimes there is no way to prepare them for what to expect - which was our case for 2 1/2 of those years.

We try to measure it in small improvements. At this point he is now able to have a conversation about seeing doctors without fear and even sit in the office waiting without getting upset beforehand.

I can't wait for the day he'd sit in a dentist chair! That would be a huge milestone.

Perspective adjusted! And once she read this comment, the light bulb came on and she was very gracious and seemed to understand this "new" perspective.

But, this is often the case over and over again on FB and blogs. Having two special needs children is a different experience and gives you different "goggles". You often read statements that leave your jaw hanging open and saying "But...but...what about...that's not a fair judgment...etc".

You understand that the "crazy, out of control, tantruming" child may not just be "a brat" or product of crappy parenting, but might be coping with massive frustration combined with the inability to speak or communicate on top of being a two year old (which is frustrating enough, HA!). The child who literally RUNS out of the ER crying might not just be disobedient, but may have memories of his last hospital stay where he had to stay in a crib for 2 days with wires attached to his foot and a tube taped to his face.

And, of course, this is not limited to children. We all have different experiences and reasons for what we do and it's so important that we remember that! What works for us, may not work for all.

And yet, FB and blogs are not all bad! I've been able to connect and stay in touch with friends across the planet! I'm able get a glimpse into the lives of my friends even if we can't just drive over for dinner. I get to see my friend's kids grow up before my eyes in pictures and blogs and feel like I got to be a small part of it. Those are all wonderful things and I shouldn't forget that, or exclude my friends from being apart of our lives as well!

So, while there are obviously some things that I don't like (and this post only mentions one), I also feel there are enough positive aspects to continue using FB in a limited way! Just enough to keep up with my far-away friends and to post some updates now and again to keep in touch! Mark got me a new phone this month that should help me use FB in a balanced way, so I'm able to still update but without it taking up too much time!

So there. My perspective has been adjusted.

Unplugging

Whoa! It's been a month almost since I posted - must be some kind of record. I've been a bit reflective and internal lately - which curtails my blabbering on here.

Contemplating a lot of what's important and what's not. What's good for me and what drags me down. What I need and what's just excess. Good questions to ask yourself every now and then - and to surprise yourself with the answers you come up with!

It's amazing how distracted we can let ourselves become. Or maybe that's just me?

I've eliminated a lot of online aspects of my life that just weren't working for me. Facebook and a large number of the blogs I read for starters. The incessant status updating and reading was getting old. Is every thought in my head worthy of announcement? Heck no. Is it better to actually communicate with my friends personally and directly than to stay informed through mass updates? Of course.

So I've resisted the temptation to jump on FB and find out the "news" on all my friends or to let everyone know I'm checking the mail, or washing the dishes or any of the hundred other mundane and utterly un-newsworthy tasks I do each day. If anyone wants to know, they can come over and watch. Or better yet - help.

I've stopped seeking advice and affirmation from the bazillion blogs I was reading on every topic from saving money to special needs to mommy blogs. I'm straightening my heart and head out by turning to the only place I should be going for those things - God's Word.

And wow. Let me tell you - if you're depressed, frustrated, overwhelmed, sad, feeling unworthy or incapable of the tasks in front of you - that's the place to turn.

2Co 12:9-10

Each time He said, "My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness." So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me.
That's why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

So go be strong.

So what can I say?
What can I do?
But offer this heart, oh God, completely to You.
So I'll stand with arms high and heart abandoned.
In awe of the one Who gave it all.
I'll stand my soul Lord to You surrendered
All I am is Yours.

Nature Week!

So I decided I needed to keep all our theme materials in some kind of order (and not all over the house), so I grabbed this old basket, that's missing one of it's handles, haha, and used it to store all of our materials for the week. So far it's working perfectly. The size is perfect - I can't put a TON of stuff in there, which means I can't set my goals for the week too high. Whatever I can fit into the basket, is what we'll do!

I'm slowly getting into a routine about these weeks and figuring out what works for us. I picked the last theme based on our visit to the museum, but we had no such adventure to pull from for last week. So instead, I took Monday to watch and listen to my children and take note of their interests that day. They spent the morning outside and after an hour or so it was obvious that they had taken an interest in nature! Bugs, flowers, plants, rocks - you name it, they were playing with it. So with that, I let them continue playing and rounded up our materials for the week - all nature themed of course. (Corbin, at this point, was still doing Farm Animals)

Here is what I collected from around the house (one of my "goals" is not to buy stuff each week, but to use what we have):

I chose two books for the week: Rocks & Minerals - which is an old book from my childhood - I can't even find this version online to link it for you, although it's similar to Smithsonian Handbooks: Rocks & Minerals (Smithsonian Handbooks) .

And The Bug Book, which I found at a used books store a few months back.

Hayden showed some interest in the Rock & Minerals book - especially if we were looking at things he was already familiar with like gold or the pages about sand, fossils, and other recognizable items. We were able to practice colors with the section that talked about using rocks for pigments. Although, really this was just a review - he knows his colors very well. I also had some toy magnifying glasses we used for various activities in the week, and he liked looking at the book with his magnifying glass. But overall, I wouldn't say it was a huge success.

The Bug Book was more on his level and it had some interesting new concepts in there that I think he is still taking in (like how ants talk to each other, etc) and he still seems interested in it.

I gathered a collection of shells, rocks, and coral from around the house (I like to save interesting items like these whenever we have the chance -a lot of these are from our recent trip to the beach), and let Hayden explore them with his magnifying glass. If you've never let them play with a magnifying glass before, it will take some time of "playing" before they are ready to listen to how they use it properly. Mostly Hayden just held it up to his eye and looked around for the first day or two, haha. He's slowly understanding how to use it.

We also did some outside activities as well. We hunted for rocks, then flowers, and Hayden made his own "garden" with a small basket, rocks, dirt, and a flower he had picked. It was really cute until Corbin ran off with it and dumped it all out on my porch - mess, mess, mess. Nothing a quick sweep couldn't fix, but Hayden was pretty sad about that.

I had a lot of activities we didn't get to this week because Hayden spends a good portion of the morning in school, so I am continuing this into a second week. We still have yet to play with the binoculars, or do the activities I picked out from the The Toddlers Busy Book.

The Toddlers Busy Book is a wonderful resource if you need ideas for games or activities. I chose two for the week, but we didn't get to them:

Nature Bracelet - You make a "bracelet" out of tape with the sticky side out and let them find things to stick to the tape to decorate their bracelet.

Picture Box - I cut out pictures of flowers, plants, and other nature items and glued them to 3x5 index cards and put them in a card box. I still haven't shown this to Hayden, but I think it will be a hit when I do. At the very least, Corbin will LOVE this once Hayden is through.

There are also some cute rhymes and songs (nature themed) I wanted to do with Corbin and maybe Hayden if he's interested.

I have a small stack of coloring pages and worksheets we never got to, so I'm thinking we'll finish up these activities this week in our continuation of the nature theme.

So that was our first week, and our plans for this week! I'll update in another 2 weeks on how things went and what we chose next.

If you do preschool-type stuff at home, do you pick themes for your activities or just whatever they're interested in? Or a curriculum? I'm always interested to hear what others are doing!

Recap

A few weeks back I posted on the kids themes each week, and I thought it might be fun to blog regularly about what we've tried. I'm always on the lookout for fun, new activities - as well as any "war stories" about what I may want to avoid, haha!

To keep it "real", I am posting after the week is over instead of before. I think this keeps me honest as a blogger. I may have lofty plans for the week, but lets be real - we never accomplish all we set out to and nothing ever goes perfectly.

So you will be getting an honest version of the week - what worked, what didn't, and what was left.

To recap Dinosaur/Farm Animal week:

This week was a hit and it led in perfectly for the first week of school, when - what do ya know, they chose their first class book to be How Do Dinosaurs Go To School? I must be psychic or just plain lucky. We had already read How Do Dinosaurs Say Goodnight? all week, and Hayden love trying to learn the names of the dinosaurs. Although he learned three dinosaur names, he still couldn't differentiate between all the different types by the end of the week. Which is ok! I'm sure we'll be doing more dinosaurs in the future. The only one he could pick out was the Pteranodon - but that was because of repeated exposure to Dinosaur Train.

There are LOTS of great (and free!) resources online for dino-exposure. The PBS site had fun printouts from Dinosaur Train that I will be using next time. Hayden also loved the interactive games they had on the show site (which also teach letter recognition and pattern matching).

We ended up watching The Land Before Time twice, but only by fast-forwarding through scary and sad parts. Unfortunately for Hayden, Dinosaur Train comes on right before we leave for school, so he won't be able to watch that one again if we do another Dino week. There are a few episodes online at PBS though, so that's one option.

I decided to extend Corbin's Farm Animal week into 2 weeks because he needs longer exposure to things to really get into them. He really loved F is for Farm (Baby Touch and Feel) and we read it every nap time and bedtime for 2 weeks. He is just now getting tired of it and we are starting to move on.

We also added Farm Friends (Guess Who?), which is a great "peek-a-boo" style book. It's a bit wordy for Corbin's level, so instead of their text, I just said " Peek-a-boo, guess who? It's a cow! Mooo." for each animal. And voila! He loved it.

I put his barn and farm animals out on the coffee table all week to encourage animal play. I also added ducks to the bathtub toys as well. And we watched Word World and Wonder Pets (which is on Netflix right now) for more animal exposure.

In the second week we got Corbin quacking like a duck in the bathtub and clucking like a chicken (including arm flapping) while watching a show - which was our goal - animal sounds. We're hoping that it wasn't a "fluke" and he will continue imitating noises.

I like the laid back pace we're doing - if I think we need more time on something, we'll take another week - or we may move on. Spending two weeks on animals was definitely the right choice and Hayden was pretty much done with Dinos after only one week.

I'll post tomorrow about Hayden's second theme: Nature!

What activities are you doing with your little ones? I'd love to hear them!





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My New Love

I have a new love. Well, perhaps it is really an old love, because I have always loved it.

I love doing dishes by hand.

There. I said it.

And yes, that is a shiny new dishwasher right next to me in the photo.

But there is something so comforting about a sink full of hot, soapy water.

Scrubbing and rinsing, scrubbing and rinsing.

Slowly drying each dish by hand and then putting them away.

It's soothing. There is time to think there.

And it reminds me of doing dishes with my grandmother - who always did at least some dishes by hand each meal.

Dishwashers, in my mind, equate to rush, hustle, busyness, and chaos.

The clanking of the dishes as you stack them in, the whir of the motor and swish of the water as they wash...chaotic noise filling up my quiet house.

I am rebelling against quick, efficient, and busy.

By hand, is just peaceful.

And I enjoy that.

What are you rebelling against?

AWANA

This Wednesday I signed Hayden up for AWANA. I'm pretty excited about it - especially since it almost didn't happen! The first church we looked at that offered AWANA on Wednesday nights relied heavily on parent volunteers. Which is wonderful, besides the fact that my ministry commitments are very heavy right now. Between our own church's children's ministry and The Lord's Table, I'm maxed out. Adding another commitment was not something I could do.

There are a lot of great AWANA programs in town, but most of them are offered on Sundays. For a three year old, it seems like that was asking too much. Spending half the day at church, then coming home for a lunch/nap/dinner, and then getting shuttled back to AWANA sounds ridiculous. I also like the idea of spreading out his learning throughout the week. I want to be sure to teach him that God is NOT just for Sundays!

His first day is next Wednesday! We've already got verses to work on memorizing for the week so he can earn his vest and book. (They wear a cute little vest to their meetings). The 3/4 year old class is called Cubbies and the church it's held at seems great. They have a whole floor that is decorated with cool kid themes and the classroom looks really fun too. I think Hayden will really enjoy it.

Each week is a different "theme" (bring a friend, wear favorite sports team shirt, etc) and I can't wait to see how Hayden likes it. I'm so glad he seems to be improving with his separation issues, or this would be really hard.

Anyone had experiences with AWANA (as a kid or your own kids)?