Monday, August 6, 2012

These Are The Days


These are the days you might fill
With laughter until you break
These days you might feel
A shaft of light
Make its way across your face
And when you do
Then you’ll know how it was meant to be
See the signs and know their meaning
It's true
Then you’ll know how it was meant to be
Hear the signs and know they’re speaking
To you, to you
~10,000 Maniacs, These Are The Days

It feels like the days are just pouring one after the other like the waves on the ocean and I can't stop them, just hold on for the ride.  I blinked and my boy is going into Kindergarten.  I have a thousand different emotions about this, as I'm sure all mothers do at the beginning of this new phase.  One of the feelings I wasn't expecting was a bit of identity crisis.  Yes, I am of course still a mom.  But not in the sense of having little ones pulling at my clothes, needing all of their basic needs met, rocking to sleep, etc.  That part of my mothering is done.  And that is such a sad feeling.

Now, I am the mathematician - "Mommy, what's 1,000 plus 200?"
I am the warrior - "Mommy, let's play swords!"
I am the encyclopedia - "Mommy, what do rabbits eat?"
I am the spiritual advisor - "Is there just one God?"

I am many things that are still wonderful and oh so "mother-ful".  But that doesn't keep me from aching a bit as I watch them grow up a little more each day.

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