Wednesday, May 26, 2010

I'm Here

Hello hello my bloggy friends. I know...I've been gone.

Ever been bodyboarding? When you're first learning you have these times when everything is going really well, and then for some reason you fly off your board, roll around in the water, get pummeled by waves, and probably end up losing either the top or bottom of your bikini. Or was that just me?
Anyway - that's what life feels like right now. At this point, I'm sitting in the surf looking for my swimsuit and hoping that nobody got it on video.

Is life just a series of pummels? It feels that way a lot of the time. My periods of calm seem to be getting smaller and smaller, and the "trials" last longer and longer.
Anyone who has been reading this blog for long knows that I have no problem getting personal and deep with complete strangers. That being said, I'm also extremely protective of the privacy of my family and friends. Hence, you've probably never read much about my friends or personal things about my family (kid poop stories don't count) that don't expressly involve me. I don't feel it's my place to write about someone else's story.
So there are a lot of things we've been working through, a lot of tears shed, that will never appear on here. But just know that they are there. Life can be rough to us all - and we're no exception.

When peace, like a river, attendeth my way, When sorrows like sea billows roll; Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say, It is well, it is well, with my soul.

I seriously would be drowning without the support of my Almighty. Every day I wake up to a new "crisis" and yet, I have peace. When the waves of anxiety and fear begin to rise up around me, I can breathe deeply and say - It is well with my soul. I don't have to look to tomorrow with worry, I don't have to regret the past, I just have to live this single moment. I have to rejoice in the knowledge that He is in control. I have to hand out some of this overflow of love He's given me. I have to share my experiences, and encourage others in theirs. I have to follow His path and listen to His instructions. I have to release my vice grip on the things of this world (which include people) and freely give it all to Him. I have to choose, everyday:

Will I look into the face of crashing waves and inside feel only calm waters?

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