Very often, I struggle. I struggle with feelings of desire, envy, wanting.
If I could only have this...
If only this was more or better or bigger...
We have a very nice 3 bedroom home that we've called our own for over 8 years now. In all honesty, I wish it was more.
Even after the kitchen remodel of '09 (which is still going on by the way), our space is still so small. It actually made our meager dining room EVEN smaller. We've got one family room, you might call the living room, but sometimes looks like the playroom.
Hayden has a room, we have a room, and Corbin - well he's living in the "man cave" and sharing space with a pool table and poker chips. Poor baby gets kicked out when company comes over and then we turn that space into a "bed" with our air mattress.
I often find myself thinking...
If we had a bigger house, then I could invite people over more. I could entertain. I could have children's ministry meetings here. We could even do fun events.
But here's the truth that's been recently revealed to me:
God has given me everything I have. What am I doing with what I have?
Why would He give me a bigger house if I'm not even using the one I have right now? If I can't be a good caretaker of what I currently have, why would I ever deserve greater responsibility?
I should be using up every opportunity to share what I've been given with others.
And that's how I am living now.
No, my space is not ideal for hosting 9 children's ministry team members for a lunch and get together, but God gave me this house, and put me in this ministry and I will use what I have for His purposes.
I will never again pass an opportunity for hospitality because of what I don't have.
What I do have is enough.