Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Blank Day

Today is one of those "blank" days. You know, where you look on your calendar for the day and see's blank. And it just feels so ... good.

One thing about being a mom and staying at home with my kids, is that there are a lot of "appointments" and errands to run. And truth be told, I do have errands to run, but I don't have to do them today.

Today, I could do nothing, or anything, or everything. But I decide. It's 10am, and I decide what I'll do today. Oh how I love that feeling. The world is my oyster, so to speak.

What would you do with a "free" day?

I have a list a mile long of things I'd love to do.

I'd love to bake some fresh bread. The smell of baked bread is so intoxicating.

Going outside sounds wonderful. Especially in the morning when the air still smells cool and dewy. Sitting on the deck with a cup of tea, watching my babies play. Now that's the life.

Cleaning up my kitchen until it sparkled would be great. I love the look of a freshly cleaned kitchen, waiting for its cook.

Or that great feeling of "cleanliness" you get after sweeping and mopping your floor. Smelling the orange citrus of my mop, and see the floor shine as it gets wet. Yeah, that's nice too.

Reading an inspirational book would be great. Not silly drama, but something that really stirs the soul.

I'm trying to embrace the concept of "Never complaining about anything - not even the weather". For those of you who haven't read "Calm my Anxious Heart", I'd highly recommend it. And man, is this hard. Everyone complains about the weather! When it rains, we wish sun. When it's hot, we wish for cold. When cold, we want hot. The weather can just not win.

I read something yesterday that really stuck with me, in a sad way. It was from a stay at home mom who was debating over whether to go back to work (where she said she felt appreciated) or stay at home (where she felt purposeless).

I've got no comment on the work/no work stuff - but purposeless? That's sad to read. Because it can have such a great purpose. Caring for children, instilling values, teaching life's lessons, showing them God and His love, creating an inviting home - all these things seem to have no value in our culture. If you don't get paid to do it, it is deemed worthless, purposeless.

There are purposeful jobs out there, but they aren't all that way. Just because someone tells me "good job" and I finish X, Y, Z project doesn't mean there was a purpose (other than to make the CEO and company more money). At the end of my life, when I looked back, what are the things that mattered? I'm thinking my job wouldn't have been one of them.

That's not to say you can't have purpose at your job, or that working is bad or whatever. I just wouldn't devalue staying at home while looking at the other side saying the grass is greener.

I grew up a day care kid, then a latch key kid - it was hard. It wasn't horrible, and I didn't turn out bad, but it was hard. I'd like to try it differently with my kids, that's all. And I'd like to think that my life is purposeful, even if no one hands me a check at the end of the day.

So on that note, I'm going to enjoy the fact that I'm not in the rat race today. There is no rushing around getting kids ready, no annoying coworkers, no sitting cooped up in my office wishing I was outside - just me, the kids, and the day to enjoy. So yeah the pay is horrible, the hours suck, but the perks - oh man, the perks make it so worth it.

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