Off

Today I just feel off. Not really sure why. The piles of stress seem heavier today, and my confidence is lower. I feel like I'm second-guessing myself all the time. I feel like I, well, suck, at everything today.

I could list out my burdens, but that would be just whiny. Let's just say I have one or two.

Most of the time I churn along just fine in spite of it all. Today is today. I only need to get through today. Occasionally, my mind rests in a darker spot. I hate that.

I know I should be praying, but my mind prefers to just wallow in it - not really ready to let it all go.

Sleep should help. It generally does.

Getting out helps. Sometimes a girl just needs a break. Today after nap time, I just wasn't fully functional to cope with the needs of two kids. Corbin crying. He didn't want to be put down, but he didn't want me to sit down with him in my arms. Oh, no. He wanted me to hold him and stand. Hayden waking up in one of his moods.

Do you want to sit down? No.

Do you want to lay down? No.

Do you want to stand up? No.

Do you want a banana? No.

Okay, no banana? Banana!

So you do want a banana? No.

ARGH!

Corbin angry at his sippy cup - why isn't it a bottle? What the heck? Kid hasn't had a bottle in two weeks. Doesn't want the cup, doesn't want me to put the cup away. Just wants me to hold it AND him.

Hahahaha. And so goes the 5 o' clock hour as we're waiting for Daddy to get home from wherever he was that day. Some days I handle this better than others.

Today I handled it by demanding we all GO FOR A WALK. Oh how I love walks. Mostly because they mean a little peace for me. Minus the numerous stops for squabbles, pretzel fights, stick retrieval, and nose wiping.

So what's the point of this rambling? I have no idea. Like I said, I'm off.