A Good Lesson

What a morning! This is going to be an interesting day. When Hayden got up I thought I'd relax our TV rules a bit and let him watch The Incredibles first thing. This is his new favorite movie. Once the movie had ended, I turned off the TV and turned on the CD player.

This was apparently an "act of war". Hayden did not approve my music choices or the fact that we were not watching anymore TV. I ignored his protests and started making my tea. After 15 minutes of whining I had had enough.

He has an entire house to roam through and way too many toys to play with, yet all he can think to do is whine about not getting to watch TV? No, this needed to be addressed. In the past few weeks, I've employed a new technique to deal with these situations (whining about no TV or boredom). I took time to think about the problem and came up with what I think the root cause is: lack of appreciation and overstimulation.

So now when he starts to get fussy like today, I pull out a big throw blanket and put it down on the floor. I grab three toys that are all different: a book, a stacking/sorting toy, a shapes/wire toy. I tell him that he must sit on the blanket and he cannot leave the blanket. This always incites a riot. He usually starts tossing the toys off the blanket. As he throws each toy off the blanket, I take them away. Eventually he's sitting on the blanket with nothing, just being mad. Once he settles down, I give him one toy back. If he throws it off the blanket again, I take it away and wait for him to settle again. If he plays quietly with the toy, I bring another, then the third.

He's usually so engrossed in the first toy, he doesn't even notice I gave him back the other three. Once he plays calmly for a while with all three and no fussing, I tell him he's "All Done" and he can get up. He usually plays a few more minutes though.

Maybe I'm nuts, but it seems to work. He goes from having anything he wants to play with, to just a few toys. Now, playing quietly in the house (instead of whining about TV) has been turned into a privilege that he wants back. Also, he can calm down and just concentrate on his few toys.
The lesson here though is really for me. Sometimes I could use a little appreciation and quietness myself. We have so much excess it's sometimes hard to just appreciate something and not be distracted by the desire of something else. I find myself hopping from one thing to another, without fully enjoying what I was doing. I'm always thinking about "what's next". I need to just stop and enjoy now.

Two Truths and a Lie...Revealed

So it's been a week, so I guess I'll end the suspense:

#1 I have had plastic surgery: TRUE

And no I haven't had a boob or nose job. I suffered 3rd degree burns on almost the entire underside of my arm when I was three so I've gone through quite a few skin grafts and reconstructive surgeries. It takes some people years to notice - the under side of your arm is apparently not very conspicuous. HA! Having it pretty much my whole life has just made it apart of me. In fact, if God said, "Hey Mel, I'll give you a whole new perfect body free of the scars". I'd probably say, "Naw, that's ok - it doesn't really bother me! In fact, they kind of make me, well me. But I wouldn't mind losing 20 lbs! You can definitely fix that".

#2 I went jet skiing 6 months pregnant: TRUE

Actually, Mark has corrected me and said I was in fact, 7 months preggo with Hayden. But whatever. I'm still not sure what we were thinking at the time. Of course we didn't go fast or doing anything crazy or stupid, but still, haha.

#3 I've never left the continently US: FALSE

Okay people, I live in Texas! Mexico is just a hop skip and a jump - so we've definitely crossed the border. We also went to Hawaii about 5 years ago! But other than that - my travels are few. :(

He Makes Me Special

Have you ever been laying with your baby and suddenly thought:

There is someone in this world whose one desire is to spend every minute with me.

If he could be anywhere, he'd want to be right in my arms.

If anyone could nurse him, he'd choose me.

If he could sleep anywhere, he'd want to snuggle up next to me.


I am special.

He makes me special.

My place in this world

This morning I got a call from Network World magazine. They were going to send me a white paper on...well I don't remember what he said I was too busy laughing.

You see, before I had the honor of becoming the mother of these two precious boys I read things like Network World and cared (a little) about white papers and new technologies.

I tested software, and it was a little more involved than just UI clicking or what not. I developed tools that spoofed IP addresses, learned the inner workings of routers, learned all I could about TCP/UDP protocols, I prided myself on knowing the ins and outs of each of our products. If you wanted to know how something worked, I could tell you. If support had a strange problem, I could help them work through it. Knowledge was my pursuit.

And here I find myself laughing as I told the poor telemarketer that I was no longer in the field. A bit of an understatement. No I have definitely left the field. I got the biggest promotion of my life and I hope I live up to the expectations my "employers" have for me. We're each designed for something - and I know for a fact "motherhood" is not everyone's calling. But it is mine, which is why I say it's the biggest promotion of MY life. I've always known that motherhood would be my profession. It was just in my blood - I could FEEL it.

I was always "good" at my job, it came easy to me. But I was just biding my time. I know that this is my calling because it isn't easy. Every day is a challenge. I'm never bored. I'm always learning. I'm never stagnant. I'm always growing. And I never want to be anywhere else. I may get tired, I may get frustrated, I may get discouraged - but I never want to be doing anything else. This is where I want to be. And nowhere else.

I belong here.

You love me for the fool I am

Lord, I'm in the dark,
Seems to me the line is dead when I come calling.
No one there, the sky is falling;

Lord, I need to know.

My mind is playing games again,

You're right where You have always been.

Take me back to You,
The place that I once knew as a little child;
Constantly the eyes of God watched over me.
Oh, I want to be
In the place that I once knew as a little child,
Fall into the bed of faith prepared for me.

I will rest in You.

Tell me I'm a fool,
Tell me that You love me for the fool I am,
Comfort me like only You can,
And tell me there's a place
Where I can feel Your breath
Like sweet caresses on my face again.

I will rest in You. ~Mindy Gledhill

A Business That Cares

Wow! I am blown away. I do business with so many places that could care less about their customers that when I encounter one that takes an interest - I'm shocked!!

As you all have read, we've ordered T-shirts for our upcoming MS Walk. We ordered them from Custom Ink primarily because I loved their online designing option. It was really easy to use and had lots of options.

But just now I got an email from them:

Hi Melissa,

I noticed that you have designed shirts that appear to be for a charity event. If that’s the case, CustomInk would love to make a small donation to your team or to the charity itself on your behalf!

Please let me know if your order is for one of these events. If you would like us to pitch in and support your cause, please include information about your charity event, a link if you have one or the organization’s name if there is no link to a team web page.

Warmest Regards,

Laney Caspio
CustomInk.com


How cool is that? So I really have to rave about them now! Not only were they easy to do business with, had reasonable prices, more options, free shipping, and fast processing time - but they also take the time to notice that our shirts were for a charity event (which wasn't obvious from the design) and wanted to offer support! I love it. Man if we could get more businesses involved I'd be a walking billboard if I need to!! Anything for the cause.

Just had to share that!!

Gaining Confidence

So I've never been a Mom who hibernates. Mark and I took Hayden almost anywhere we went. We went camping when he was 5 months old, I've flown with him three times (twice by myself), he's attended two weddings, started at the church nursery when he was 1 month old, I mean - we never let having kids stop us from enjoying things. I didn't think twice about taking him anywhere I went. But when I had Corbin, I was overwhelmed.

Mentally, I couldn't handle two kids alone. I did it when I had to, but if I didn't have to, well I didn't do it. Hayden is at a difficult stage of independence, and Corbin is alert and wanting attention. It can be very trying to go somewhere when one or both are in a bad mood, hungry, or tired. Which when you have two kids, is pretty much all the time. Corbin naps and eats every 2 1/2 hours. Hayden naps in the afternoon and eats at the usual mealtimes plus snacks. By the time I drive anywhere someone needs something. And if it's not that, it's crazy diaper changes!

So it basically left me frozen, not wanting to get out. But somehow, over the last few weeks, I've started to overcome this fear. Mostly because I have endured the WORST scenarios and lived. Yes, I experienced that afternoon at the Dr. office with two tired and hungry kids - and even had to change Hayden's totally gross diaper there! I've had Hayden throw himself on the floor and practically have me drag him out the door with Corbin's carrier in the other hand. And...I lived. I survived.

So today, I did it. I needed to check out dishwasher prices at Lowe's and waiting until both Mark and I could go or to just go alone was not going to work today. So after our Chiro appointment I headed to Lowe's. Not only did I get some prices, I even bought a square of floor tile to show Mark that I liked. Of course, everyone had fussy moments - even me (when Hayden dumped his goldfish on the floor and I had to pick them all up) - but it was fine. Once we were done there, Corbin was past due for eating so I nursed him in the car while Hayden made funny faces at the dog in the car next to us.

I then started thinking about the grocery store. We could really use a few things and if I asked Mark to get them it would delay him getting home even more. Maybe I could do it? I strapped Corbin in my Ergo and put Hayden in the cart. We navigated the store with limited fuss. We almost lost a shoe but a nice stranger notified me to it's escape. Hayden is in this strange shoe removal stage. He throws it off (just the right one) everywhere we go.

And then I even unloaded the car and kids with just a little effort.

I did it. And it wasn't a disaster. And it wasn't a completely stressful and anxious morning. It was fine. I was actually in a good mood. I think it has a lot to do with the pain relief I've gotten by going to the chiro. So many things that were painful (and I was just living with it) are not now - and that helps with the anxiety and stress levels. I'm not as run down or feeling bad. Which rocks!!! And now I don't have to rely on Mark to do all our errands!!

I suppose it also helps that the boys are growing up and a bit easier to manage. Hayden is understanding discipline and direction better, and Corbin doesn't completely meltdown if his meal is a few minutes late.

Perfection Isn't Planned

I'm not quite sure why I plan things. Somehow things get thrown completely off course and I'm left at the end wondering how I got here. Yet here I am.

My "planned" weekend:

• Head to an awesome pumpkin patch
• Buy a gorgeous pumpkin at the patch
• Let Hayden play with pumpkins to his little hearts content
• Take lots of cute pumpkin patch pictures with both boys
• Enjoy a relaxing date night with the hubby
• Enjoy church service since both of us were not serving this week
• Spend a relaxing Sunday doing whatever we pleased

My "actual" weekend:

I was about to describe a disaster of a weekend. But that wouldn't really be true. In the midst of hectic moments are beautiful ones and I can't deny that.

In the morning I had a proud parent moment as Hayden really brushed his teeth for the first time. He LOVES his training toothpaste and I'm really glad they make the stuff. Let's say he brushed his tongue more than any of his teeth.


Midday we looked at each other, exhausted, and said "Let's go get something to eat". We loaded the kids in the car and headed out. I was thinking I needed a Margarita, Mark was picturing wings. Of course on the way there I looked at the time, uh 2:30...UT kick off. Hmmm...maybe a wing place wasn't such a good idea. But Mark had a better one! Let's just call in our order, pick it up and head back home.

My mind was instantly attracted to the idea. No keeping kids busy, no holding Corbin with one arm and devouring a wing in the other. No noisy restaurant. Hmmmm...home sounded pretty good. By the time we got home, Hayden had passed out and Corbin was sort of snoozing. We ate our wings in peace.

No, we didn't go on a date night, but after finally getting the kids to bed around 10:30, we both curled up on the couch and watched the next installment of our Star Trek movies: Star Trek II The Wrath of Khan. Mark had a good laugh when I innocently questioned, "Who's Khan?". I'm still left shocked at Spock's radiation death scene...

Church wasn't an option with two sick kids. Instead, I gave some consideration to Mark. As his wife, I want to share in his passions. One of those is Halloween, another is decorating. He's been slowly trying to decorate his office for Halloween this month, but it's been slow going. So I thought the best way to help him would be to load up the kiddos and head to the office. We could all put up decorations until the kids got too cranky.

I'm glad we all went. I had been stubborn about helping out or even having him stay late to do it himself. But when I sat down to think about things, this was something I could do WITH him and SHARE with him. It wasn't something I wanted, it was something I wanted to do for him. He'd been talking about going in on the weekend for weeks, but I had always changed the subject or made other plans for us. How selfish I had been. Of course I had "good" excuses. Two small kids, lots of other "important" things we could do with our weekend, etc.

It's funny, you think what would make you happy is to do what YOU want. Get what YOU want. But that's the biggest lie we tell ourselves. I am happy right now because I put my husband first. Because I served his needs, not my own.

And I did buy a gorgeous pumpkin, but it didn't cost me big bucks at a pumpkin patch. It was four dollars at HEB.


And tonight once both children are down for the night, I will crack that bottle of wine seen above, and watch a movie with my best friend, my hubby. And, yes, it will probably be Star Trek III. Mark is still in shock from me telling him I haven't seen any Star Trek movies. So now we're watching them...all. Much similar to the time when I told him I hadn't seen the first 3 Star Wars movies - he corrected that very quickly.

I thought I had "planned" the perfect weekend, but now I realize the "perfect" weekend can't be planned. It just happens.

Two Truths and a Lie

So here's a fun game...

I'm going to tell you 3 things about myself. Two of them are true, one is a lie. You tell me which one is the lie.

1. I have had plastic surgery.
2. I went jet skiing 6 months pregnant.
3. I've never left the continental US.

Good luck!

Oh and for more fun - post YOUR two truths and a lie. Let's see if we can guess!!!

T-Shirts!!!

I ordered the T-Shirts for the MS Walk today and they should be here in 2 weeks. Looks like the final price per shirt will be $9.05! Not bad!! Thanks for all those who ordered one - it really helped us keep the cost per shirt down. I love you guys!! And I'm so excited that we have so many joining us this year!!!

Put it in your calendars - November 16th!

P.S. We ordered some extra shirts: 2 Larges, 1 XL in case you missed the ordering time! So if those sizes work for you and you've changed your mind and want a shirt, let me know!

Friday Randomness

Do you like Friday Randomness? Well you better, cause here it goes:

The Zavalas have instituted a family dance night. We had our second one last night. I compiled a few of my favorite dance songs and we boogied. Our song list this time:

1. Could You Be Loved - Bob Marley
2. Got to Give it Up - Marvin Gaye
3. Coconut - Harry Nilsson
4. Gettin Jiggy With It - Will Smith
5. Starry Eyed Surprise - Oakenfold
6. Thriller - Michael Jackson
7. Bolero - Maurice Ravel

I love me some Bob Marley as you know, and Could You Be Loved is Hayden's favorite song. And if you're not rockin to Marvin Gaye, well - then you don't have ears. Be sure to pass the Margaritas for Coconut and bounce da booty for Getting Jiggy. I seriously wish I could still roller skate when I hear Starry Eyed and in honor of Halloween I threw in Thriller. Don't forget to pay homage to the classics with Bolero - the techno version this time.

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Today was Corbin's 4 month checkup. 12 lbs 13 oz and 24 " That's my boy! Nothing new to report there, just the dreaded vaccines, yuck!

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The hubby and I have a DATE NIGHT tomorrow. We are so lame we don't even know where we are going yet. Last time we had a date night we ALMOST went toilet shopping at Lowe's. Instead we went to a movie, Fool's Gold, hmmm, nothing spectacular there, maybe we should have gone toilet shopping.

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We finally decided on our kitchen remodel. We're going with a local couple who handcrafts their cabinets. I'm really excited...and poorer. They should be done in a month. The complete job should be done around Dec. 6th. We are getting new cabinets, Affinity counter tops, new tile floors, undermounted sink, and a bunch of other stuff. I think I've decided on the counter tops, I just need to pick the tile to make sure it all matches.

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I was reading Hohnstreiterrific and thought I could use a bit of enlightenment myself in this area. So I think I'm going to listen to the series too. Ok, not think, I actually did listen to the first part yesterday. One of the first points: Be Honest. So here it goes:

Lest you think otherwise:

1. My house is generally in some state of disaster. I clean the main areas before you come over. No it's not always like that.

2. When I smile sweetly as my toddler throws a tantrum, I'm really thinking "This is so freakin embarassing, why can't you just behave? Ok, I'm just going to look cool and act like it doesn't bother me even though I want to strangle him."

3. I struggle with my weight. I have my whole life. I lose weight, then gain, then lose, then... In fact I was down 18 lbs, and now it's only 15!! Gasp. It's a process.

4. My period that I "thought" was happening a few weeks ago like didn't happen. I dunno my body is weird. So bwaahaahaaahaaahaaaaaa!

5. Sometimes my friends drive me nuts and I want to slap them up side the head. And vice versa. Thank you all for not slapping me - I don't take criticism well.

6. Let me say that again, I don't take criticism well.

7. I compare myself to others - a lot. I can drive myself nuts doing this. She's skinnier, they are so sweet together, wow what a nice house, man their kids are well mannered, etc.

8. I really like it when y'all comment (yeah I said y'all). And when you don't, I get sad :(

9. I'm addicted to reading blogs!!!!!!!!!

10. And if I'm going to be really really really honest.....please don't kill me for this one...oh it hurts to admit this...I missed the deadline to register to vote by one day. :( Yes I am a crappy American, I know this. I'm working on it. In public, I will still deny this truth.

11. I've been dodging the whole political issue on this blog because I don't like debating and I don't like confrontation and arguments. I love you no matter what your political views are.

12. I know, I know, I'm a crappy American, can we get past this and still be friends?

13. I really want to erase #10 from this list, but I'm not. I'm being real. It hurts, but there it is. No lectures please or I'll never be real on this blog.

Okay there's a lot more, but I don't want to scare everyone off in one post so that'll do.
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And that's friday's randomness.

Trick Or Treat

Hayden's idea of trick-or-treating:

If the neighbors hand out french fries instead of candy, I think he'll be a happy camper!

Solidssssss

In a few weeks I'll be starting Corbin on solid food, doesn't seem like he's that old already.

Here's Hayden's first food adventure last year:

Adjusting my Perspective

Today was a hard day...or is ? It's only 4pm. After cleaning the house for Bunco last night (which was awesome and fun as always), I woke up exhausted and feeling a bit run down. When my alarm went off I hit snooze and wished I could just curl up under my covers all day. But that's not possible.

Thump Thump Thump was coming from Hayden's room. He's heard my alarm and wants me to know that he is ready to GET UP!

Five more minutes...just five more. Five becomes 10 and then I throw the covers off and drag myself into the kitchen. I've got to get everyone ready and in the car by 9am. It's 7:45am.

I make mental notes of everything to do. Change diapers, change clothes, feed, nurse, make bottles for traveling, fill sippy cups and snack bag for Hayden, organize diaper bags, and oh yeah get myself ready and fed.

We've got a full day - Conversation English at 9:30am, Lunch with a friend afterwards, and finally Chiropractor appointments for all three of us at 1:15pm.

I get half way to my destination when I realize I've forgotten my materials for Conversational English. There's no time to turn back since I still have to check in the kids at the on-site nursery before class and I have a full group today since I'm taking over for another person while she's on vacation.

I get to the nursery and realize I have ONE diaper left for Corbin. We've been stealing diapers out of the diaper bag at night because most of our diaper stash is in Hayden's room - I don't want to wake him to grab one. This will be interesting since we will be out until 2:30 today.

After we finished CE I picked up the kids. Corbin had a blow out and was in a strange outfit (even though I had an extra outfit in the diaper bag they didn't use it) and I got the comment about Hayden - "He's all BOY isn't he?" Which is code for your kid is a nut.

Lunch at my friends house was nice as always, of course having two toddlers together is a bit like trying to mix oil and water. They bring out each others less fun traits.

I headed to the chiro afterwards but Hayden was quite grumpy at this point. He had a complete meltdown when I got my adjustment. He did NOT like me getting up on the table. You'd think I was screaming or dying or something. Nope, I'm just laying on the table while he throws himself down on the floor screaming. Mr. Chiro says, "At least he expresses his anger, some kids just try to jump up on the table to save Mom." Yes, he's never had a problem expressing his anger.

Corbin was an angel through this whole day of course. Hayden was not interested in his adjustment and was in meltdown mode by the end. The receptionist as we're leaving says, "You're so patient with him". Code for: Your kid is a nut.

And then we all got to GO HOME. I love you home. And nap time, I love nap time too.

But...

When I pulled the driveway, unloaded all the bags and the baby, and came back out to the car for my sleeping toddler, it hit me. I lifted his sleeping little body from his car seat and into my arms. He immediately nuzzled his little head into the crook of my neck and drifted back into sleep. This was my boy. My baby. My baby who loves to be chased and run. Who loves cars and trains and trucks. Who gives the cutest kisses. Who smile lights up a room. Who has gorgeous eyes. Who hugs me and pulls on the back of my skirt to show me something. Who has more energy than any 3 toddlers put together. And though today he might be all BOY, one day he will be all MAN - and that's what I'm raising. I will channel that energy and spirit but not break it. I will teach him to be gentle and sweet, but still let him be rough and tumble.

And I will enjoy him for who he is and where he's at, not stress over what I think he should be.

My New Easy Mother of Two Hair...

So long hair, I hope Locks of Love can use you!

It's Finally Friday...And I need a vacation.

Do you have children or are thinking of having children?

DON'T EVER BUY HAND PUPPETS!

Trust me on this one, I'm saving your sanity. Yesterday, (and part of today until I hid them) Hayden made me wear the evil puppets all day. I fed Corbin his bottle with Mr. Lizard, I gave Hayden his breathing treatments with Mr. Lizard, I typed one-handed with Mr. Lizard watching...ACK! Oh and Hayden is offended at the very thought of me putting them on his hand!

On the illness front, Hayden seems to be getting better. OH CRAP...Hayden just saw the picture and has now remembered that I hid Mr. Lizard...he is frantically whining and pointing at the picture.

Let me type fast and get this to scroll down...

...

...

Okay, we're safe. Now back to blogging. I am going stir crazy from being stuck in the house all week with a sick toddler. I NEED to get out. I've only gotten out this week for Dr. appointments. Ugh. And I've played way too much Word Twist on Facebook. And I've watched WAY too many Pixar movies. Imagine 5 days of Toy Story 2 and Finding Nemo...seriously, those are his favorites and we watched them OVER and OVER and OVER and...well you get the idea.

Okay so in other randomness - kitchen remodeling is very expensive. There, I said it. We finally got an estimate from Lowes, Sears is coming out tomorrow, and hopefully some local guys next week. So far I can't bear the idea of parting with the money, HA! We'll see.

And I started going to a chiropractor for my back issues and oh my goodness!!! After just the first visit, this crazy neck issue I had is almost gone! There used to be this big bump on my neck where the pain was and IT'S GONE! Whoa. Why didn't I do this a long time ago. I mean I really don't like the feeling of hearing all those cracks and pops, ICK, but wow what an improvement. I was so hesitant to go because I always felt like I'd go and he'd be like, what back problem? You look fine. I think this weird fear was from a time I had injured my knee. I had been running a lot and it was so bad I couldn't got up stairs and I could barely get out of the car. After a few weeks of not running it got better, but I thought, maybe I should get it checked out. Of course when I finally went in the pain had subsided and the Doc was like, uh, seems fine to me. I was like, yeah, because I haven't gone on a run in 6 weeks. So he gave me some "exercises" and that was that. I felt like an idiot and haven't really gone back to running since. So I still get this nagging fear that whatever ailment I "think" I have, that nothing can be done about it.

Plus I'm one of those "if I'm not dead I'm fine" people. Which gives me some pretty horrendous bedside manners as a result. If you're not dead, you're fine too!

I go back again today, so I'm looking forward to some more pain relief - even if it sounds like the guy is going to break my neck/back.

Now that I'm fixing my back, I feel like I'm obligated to take care of the rest of my body...Kind of like, what's the point of fixing your back if you're messing up the rest of your body. So I'm a bit motivated to make other changes. Mark and I already decided that once all the sodas in the house were gone, that that was it. No more soda. This will be INCREDIBLY hard for me, but I know it will be better for my body. I also stopped using a bazillion pillows. I don't see the point of fixing my neck so I can jack it up again. So I just use my contour pillow now. There are a million changes I really want to make, but hey, let's be realistic - one thing at a time.

Oh and I'm getting my hair cut tomorrow. As of right now it's down to my butt and it's a pain in the...well anywho. It's also a big strain on my neck when I wear it up, which I always do. So I hope my hair doesn't get jacked tomorrow, I don't have a good track record when it comes to haircuts.

So ok that ends friday randomness.

P.S. I think Fall is here, it's 60 degrees outside.

I Will Survive...

So we've hit that glorious 3 day mark in the progression of the cold - AKA the worst day. At this point one of two things will happen, either A.) Tomorrow he'll start getting better or B.) The cold will turn into something worse like an infection.

Today is the day where the snot pours and the whining goes nonstop. Although his ability to get himself into trouble is still at an all time high, only now any correction sends him into major meltdown mode. It's amazing how much they can still play and be active even when they obviously feel like crap.

Today I will fight with him over wiping his little runny nose, I will wrestle with him to finish breathing treatments, and I will change a million diapers. I will pin him to the ground to get tylenol in him and trick him into drinking his robitussin in gatorade.

I will attempt to keep big bro and little bro separated and sanitize my hands until the skin shrivels up from overuse.

Generally, if I can survive today, the hard part is over. As long has he doesn't develop something else. And with the way he's running around here, I'm hopeful that he's on his way to recovery soon.

Oh and I had a dream last night I started a maid service. Which is HILARIOUS considering I can't even keep my own house clean. HA HA HA.

Breasts...My Arch-Nemesis

There was a time when my breasts and I were good friends. We went everywhere together! We enjoyed swimsuits and nice shirts! I didn't complain about their size and they agreed not to get any smaller. When I had babies, they produce the nutritious milk that fed them. And then...

They betrayed me.

Arch-nemesis: Arch nemesis are friends from a long time ago that have more or less equivalent powers, but also have oposing ideologies. They are therefore always fighting with each other.

We are now unable to come to an agreement about two very important issues:

1.) I would like to offer my baby a bottle once a day so I can do things like sit in church services, go out with my husband, and enjoy different activities during the week. I would like to be able to do this without completely losing my milk supply. My breast are offended at the very thought of formula and are going on strike while this horrendous activity is still taking place.

2.) I would like my breasts to stay somewhat normal looking with no sagging. My breasts think I should just suck it up and by a nice bra.

So now we're at an impasse. Since my breasts don't actually "think" or have thoughts I'm guessing there is no reasoning with them. So I'm going to ridiculous lengths to keep up this milk supply. I started pumping daily, especially if Corbin gets a bottle feeding that day. I'm drinking Mother's milk tea like it's beer and I'm a college freshman. Chug Chug! And I'm going to have to mess up my "routine/schedule" to get more feedings in. Screw this supply and demand system - can I just call in my milk order? I'd like 4 ouces stat!

I nursed Hayden for 7 months. With Corbin's kidney and reflux issues I'd like to nurse him as long as possible. I'd like him to have the best nutrition I can give him. It's just a matter of IF I can continue to give it to him. =(

Days like these I feel like giving up. But I'm just going to keep on plugging along.

Dr. Appointments...Bleh!

Hayden + ENT appointment = Meltdown

ENT (Ear, Nose, Throat) is not a fun appointment for a toddler in the midst of the "You can't make me do what I don't want to do" stage. How does one put an apparatus into a toddler's ear you might ask?

You don't.

You can't.

The only way to do the test is for me to hold him down. However, that makes him scream and screaming messes up the test. Hmmmm...

So after 15 minutes of torture, we gave up. Later the Dr. says "I didn't think that was gonna work, hehe. I was just messing with him (referring to the technician). Haha, so funny I forgot to laugh.

On top of that, my poor baby (Hayden) is getting sick. Coughs and sniffles have come to the Zavala house. I pray that he'll get over it quickly and that it doesn't develop into anything else. We've gotten proactive and started the breathing treatments already before he starts wheezing.

Unfortunately, this means my entire week's plans are out. I think I will just try to embrace the "break" from plans as a good thing. We will watch obscene amounts of Disney/Pixar movies. We will eat large amounts of crackers and goldfish. We will gorge on gatorade. We will snuggle on the couch. We will swing on our tree swing until my arms fall off. And when he is better we will return to life. Until then, we will hibernate in our little home.


P.S. This is my 200th post since starting this blog. Go me! I think this is the longest I've ever stuck with something.

Am I Standing Still?

How do you make any forward progress in this world? Is everything cyclical? Is there an end?

What is the point?

I finish the laundry...there is more laundry next week.
I finish the dishes...there are more dishes in a few hours.
I clean the bathroom...it's dirty again in a week.
I dust...the dust returns.
I water the plants...they get dry in a day.
I pick up the toddler toys...the toddler pulls them all back out.
I change diapers...and then they dirty them again...in like two minutes.
I lose a pound...I gain a pound...I lose a pound
I shop for groceries...we eat them...we need more.

I could go on forever.

What is the point?

Why do I do this?

Life is in the doing. It's not about finish lines. Projects completed. Or forward progress.

It's about seizing the present and loving.

Loving...Loving one another.

Love: A deep, tender, ineffable feeling of affection and solicitude toward a person, such as that arising from a sense of underlying oneness.

Oneness: The quality or state of being one; singleness or wholeness; a state or condition of perfect harmony or accord

Wholeness: Complete, not lacking anything; Having been restored or healed;

Harmony: A pleasing combination of elements in a whole

The point of my life doesn't have anything to do with the possessions I own. Or the success I achieve. Or the approval of others. Or what I get done.

It's how I do it. I do it with joyfulness. I do it with gratefulness. I do it with love. I do it for He who is unseen but always present.

If I don't do it this way, I haven't done anything at all.

Hayden

Did you know what Hayden looked like at Corbin's age?





This week I finally grabbed all of Hayden's baby pics off my old computer and it's amazing to look back at them and see how far he's come.

Time to Eat Bananas

My bananas are trying to ESCAPE!!! STOP THEM.

Keep Your Children Safe

If you have children (or heck, know people with children you want to keep safe) I am asking you one favor that may save their lives. Go here and watch this 5 minute video about children and traditional fire detectors. They simply DON'T work with children. Please take the 5 minutes and watch the video.

You've Got To Be Kidding Me...

I'm freakin fertile again...I got my period. Bah!!!! GO AWAY.

Yippity Skippity

Another 3 lbs. That makes 18 lbs lost now!!!

I have a new deadline. When my parents come into town we're doing family portraits, so I have until November 29th to look as good as possible!

I'm two pounds away from my pre-baby Corbin weight, my first "milestone". After that I'd like to lose another 10-15 lbs.

Calling All Walkers

It's that time, we're about to order shirts (click on the mswalk link) for the MS Walk. If you want to buy a shirt, please leave a comment or email me with your name and size.

You Need One of These...

Need one of what? You need one of THESE...a cute, smiling, bundle of joy. I now understand the phrase "bundle of joy", NOTHING on this earth could send as much joy into my heart as these little gifts from God. A smile from him and I melt. It doesn't matter what kind of day I've had, he instantly transports me to a place of joy.

I had never felt that joy before having children. How sad is that?

Of course, that joy comes with a price. And I'm not talking about the work that's involved with raising children. These little bundles of joy can also cause some of our greatest heartache. It breaks my heart to think that one day someone is going to hurt his feelings. One day he will cry from injustice. One day he will brave this big bad world alone. And one day he will die. My desperate prayer is that I am not alive when that day comes. Our children really ARE our hearts walking around outside our bodies. And to think 3 years ago I didn't know them, I'd never seen them, and I'd never held them. And now I would die for them. Amazing.

So here's to not wasting a minute of our precious time on this earth with them. Let's enjoy those we've been given to love.

Let's Go For a Walk

Today we went out and enjoyed the Fall weather with another walk to the duck pond. I thought I'd share the walk with you in case you're stuck inside today!!!

The view right off the trail of a little stream headed to the pond.

The boys on the trail...waiting for me stop taking pictures

Corbin...just relaxing.

Heading down into the park

The ducks ... way far away

Almost there!

And after much playing, and swinging on Mommy's lap, we went home!!!

Time for lunch.

Can We Say 15!!

Last night a good friend came over to watch our crazy kiddo (or uh sit on our couch while he napped) and afterward we BBQ'd.

She being the super awesome person she is was sporting her incredible cute and thin self - which reignited my fire for losing weight.

I had almost come to a point of not really caring and was about to throw in the towel, but just seeing her inspired me to get my butt back on track.

And what do I see today? SOMEHOW I have lost another pound. That's 15 lbs people!!!! Oh yeah baby. So I went to the grocery store today, stocked up on the good healthy foods, and I'm set up for healthy eating this week.

I'll keep ya posted on the weight loss front.

My New Coolness...

I am Hohnstreiterrific's site of the month!! Okay, bear with my excitement cause I'm like one of those kids who always got picked last for the dodgeball team - and this rocks my world!

Go check out her way cool website and blog (of course much cooler than mine) and especially those delicious recipes she's posted. Yum!!

Thanks sweetheart, my day is made!!!!!!

Oh and here's someone else who rocks my world...my monkey:

He's Rolling!

Corbin rolled over today! Now every time I put him on his tummy he immediately rolls onto his back. So much for tummy time!

It's A Disney Movie Kind of Day

Well, my baby has now graduated from the big swing (pictured here first) to the older baby swing. He was becoming less and less interested in swinging/sleeping to his little hearts content. Now he wants ENTERTAINMENT!!! What can I look at, touch, or slober on? Is he really already 3 1/2 months old? Noooooo, that can't be right. It feels just like last week that the little guy hit the escape button and made his way into this world.

As I type this a small army of toddler toys has made it's way into our living room and I am sure they are now organizing a plan of attack for barricading me in the house forever. I am particularly leery of Mater (ya know, Mater like Tuh Mater without the TUH!) He's staring at me with his usual bucktoothed grin, but I know he's up to something. The firetruck is right behind him scheming. Why is it that ALL of Hayden's toys have eyes? Every single on of these cars have EYES!! Cars don't have eyes...what is wrong with these toy makers. These toys are perfectly scattered to create a wonderful pattern of messiness. But I know the minute I pick up these toys they will all run back out when my back is turned.

My dining room table is still covered with cookbooks from the Great Counter Clean-off of '08. The Lowe's guy came over a week ago and I've yet to return everything to the kitchen. I like it without the extra clutter, but the clutter just moved to the dining room. Kinda hard to eat dinner surrounded by dusty cookbooks.

My kitchen, although not cluttered, has gone on strike and dishes are piling up in the sink, trickling down the counter tops, and hopping the wide gap to the other side of the kitchen. I used the last bowl this morning. BAH! I'm not quite sure how it got this far...something about not doing dishes I hear.

Last night was CRAP!! And I can't even blame it on my kiddos. No they were angels, it was my back that was the devil!! I woke up at 3 am in a lot of pain, unable to go to sleep. I gobbled some tylenol and waited it out. I finally realized my couch "bed" isn't helping the back situation so I moved to the bed. Not before I hooked up the baby monitor though. I didn't feel too bad about sleeping downstairs while Corbin was upstairs since it was practically morning anyway - so there PROBABLY wouldn't be a fire in the next 2-3 hours... Sheesh, we Moms are paranoid. I may have to permanently move back to bed due to the back situation, but I had hoped to do that when Corbin moved into Hayden's room. But I still think it's too early for that. They would just wake each other up all night I think and I'm enjoying both of them sleeping through the night.

So this makes today STINK! I am tired, and the back is still a bit sore. I had planned on doing our morning walk to the duck pond, but I KNOW my back wouldn't appreciate the 80 lbs of stroller pushing. And being tired I am in no way motivated to do all the work I need to do today so that we can not go completely insane this weekend because of a dirty house. Maybe somehow I can piece together some housework to make this place look better. But as for toddler entertainment...it's a Disney movie kind of day.