World of Hayden

The world through a toddler's eyes:

• A vacuum cleaner is an evil monster that MUST be stopped!
• A donut is not a food fit for consumption and must be spit out immediately, it is on the same level as eating one's toe lint (which Hayden has tried and thankfully spit out).
• Goldfish off the bathroom floor, day old chicken nugget piece found under the high chair, and random pieces of carpet fuzz are acceptable snacks
• Diaper changes must be avoided at all costs - it is preferable to sit in ones own poop than to put up with this indignity!
• Hangers, wire shoe shelves, mops, and brooms are the most desirable toys for a high class toddler
• If you don't like what Mom or Dad tells you to do, an acceptable method of avoidance is to put your blanket on your head or close your eyes tightly
• Mom really likes it when you pull all the clothes out of the dryer.
• The toilet brush handle is very tasty, unfortunately one must "break in" to the bathroom to retrieve this valuable item.
• If food doesn't quite make it into your mouth, it is acceptable to shove it in with the palm of your hand.
• If you need your hands free, shoving your blanket under your chin or knee also works.
• Mom and Dad appreciate the wonderfulness of your blanket, so you allow them to kiss the slimy, uh I mean, precious tag.
• Mom's toes are crazy, wild animals that must be tamed at all costs!

And to end this Friday post, how about a song from Hayden's Old MacDonald CD:

Turkey in the Straw

As I was a-goin'
On down the road
With a tired team
And a heavy load
I cracked my whip
And the leader sprung
I says day-day
To the wagon tongue

Turkey in the straw
Turkey in the straw
Roll 'em up and twist 'em up
A high tuck a-haw
And hit 'em up a tune called
Turkey in the Straw

Went out to milk
And I didn't know how
I milked the goat
Instead of the cow
A monkey sittin'
On a pile of straw
A winkin' at
His mother-in-law

Turkey in the straw
Turkey in the straw
Roll 'em up and twist 'em up
A high tuck a-haw
And hit 'em up a tune called
Turkey in the Straw

I came to the river
And I couldn't get across
So I paid five dollars
For a big bay hoss
Well, he wouldn't go ahead
And he wouldn't stand still
So he went up and down
Like an old saw mill

Turkey in the straw
Turkey in the straw
Roll 'em up and twist 'em up
A high tuck a-haw
And hit 'em up a tune called
Turkey in the Straw

Did you ever go fishin'
On a warm summer day
When all the fish
Were swimmin' in the bay
With their hands in their pockets
And their pockets in their pants
Did you ever see a fishie
Do the Hootchy-Kootchy Dance?

Turkey in the straw
Turkey in the straw
Roll 'em up and twist 'em up
A high tuck a-haw
And hit 'em up a tune called
Turkey in the Straw

Where do they come up with this stuff?