Life with Two

For all those wondering, yes those are carrots in Hayden's hair. This is how Hayden is coping with the arrival of his little brother. We set all his food out as usual, then start attending to other things, next thing I know, I look over and see Hayden smooshing carrots and macaroni in his hair. He thinks this is great. Looks like bath time!

The next night he proceeds to throw all of his food on my piano (next to his high chair) and on the floor. So now, someone has to sit there with him and make sure he's not coming up with a new way of eating.

Other ways of coping - throwing balls and Legos at his little brother, and trying to climb in Corbin's infant seat, swing, and car seat. He also gets very upset whenever Corbin cries.

Hayden is still sort of ignoring me. =( It hurts, but I understand it's just a phase. I'm glad he's enjoying his Daddy at least. I just miss my little boy. We were at the Dr's office today and I saw a little toddler boy and his Mom and it made me cry. Hayden doesn't even want me to hold him these days. See all the babies clinging to their Moms made me miss having my little munchkin want comfort from me. Lately, he only goes to Mark for that and pulls away from me. Bah! Guess I'll just have to snuggle with Corbin. But Corbin is Corbin, no replacement for my Hayden. I'm starting to understand how you can love two children individually and just as much, yet not the same. They each hold a special place in my heart.

In Corbin news, his weight is up 2.5 ounces - Yay! And they didn't repeat the blood work again. So no extra pokes and prods!! We were really happy about that.

He's been eating like crazy! Practically every hour. Once he hits the week mark I'm going to try and start stretching those times a bit so he eats fuller feedings each time instead of snacking all day. But for now, he can eat all he likes while he's getting the hang of nursing and getting enough calories to gain weight. Last night was really rough. Mark had his weekly shot and needed to sleep to get through the horrible side effects of it. So I had to take the entire night shift with Corbin. Little rascal ate the whole night and took like 20 minute naps in between. I was a zombie obviously. I hope tonight is a little better.

Tomorrow is the pediatric urologist appointment. So I'll know more about what the future will be like then. It could either be filled with appointments, tests, and a surgery...or this could all be over and they'll just watch his kidney function.

I'm not sure which option I'm hoping for. A surgery has the possibility to restore some kidney function, which is a plus. But I'd hate having him go through all that. Just to move on with life and enjoy our baby sounds wonderful, but of course I want him as healthy as possible.

I used to complain about not having time to shower...having two kids means I not only have no time to shower, I generally can't even manage a bathroom break! HA!

Crazy First Week

So besides the hectic schedule of taking care of two children, establishing nursing, and the lack of sleep that comes with a newborn, we also get the joy of Dr. appointments.

Tuesday

Hayden, er uh Corbin, is born. Oh I'm a bad mom already...

Wednesday

We get home from the birthing center at 8:30am. We begin making Corbin's Dr. appointments. One with his pediatrician for 9:15am Thursday, and one with the pediatric urologist on July 1st 2:45pm.

Thursday

We head to the pediatrician. The pediatrician wants to do an ultrasound on Corbin's kidney that day. They schedule the ultrasound for 11:15 am that morning. We rush to Dell Children's for the ultrasound.

Friday

We get a call from the pediatrician, she saw the results from the ultrasound and consulted with the pediatric urologist. They want to start Corbin on a month of antibiotics as a precaution against infection. They also want to do some blood tests on Corbin. She asks us to stop by the office to pick up paperwork and then head to the lab to draw blood. We first head to my postpartum checkup at noon, then over to do Corbin's blood work. They take a ton of blood from my little baby. =(

Later that day we get a call from the pediatrician saying his blood sugar was low. Considering my milk hadn't yet come in, this wasn't a big surprise to me. He said to start supplementing with formula. Luckily my milk came in that night. I've have plenty now, so I've been pumping and giving him that in addition to nursing. Although he pretty much gets his fill from nursing. The pediatrician also wants to repeat the blood test on Monday to check his glucose levels again. We're not happy about that. Mark feels it's unnecessary. At this point, I don't feel like arguing with a doctor over it, but I also feel it's unnecessary as long as he's eating and not losing more weight.

We actually get a break for two days since it's the weekend. For once, I'm glad doctors don't work on weekends. Monday we go back in for a weight check on Corbin. I'm praying that his weight has stabilized and is on the mend. We also have to do the blood test again. Then Tuesday it's off to the pediatric urologist, where I'm sure we'll be bombarded with all kinds of new appointments/tests. I think Thursday is our one week checkup at the pediatrician. Then we need to schedule his circumcision. Of course, I also have a two week postpartum checkup, and blah blah blah.

Too many appointments, too much running around. We should be at home enjoying our new baby, not rushing here and there to all these appointments. But what can you do? He has cysts in his kidney (they confirmed this again on the ultrasound last week) and they need to decide on a plan of treatment or non-treatment.

So pray for us this week. Pray that we won't lose our minds with all these appointments. Pray that Corbin starts gaining weight. Pray that our baby stays healthy. Pray that all this poking and prodding will end soon.

Also, a quick note...

Thank you for all the wonderful meals that you've been dropping by to our family. They have been a blessing to our family during this time. We barely have time to shower, let alone cook - and to have all these delicious meals given to our family has lifted a tremendous burden and also brought a smile to our faces when we sit down to eat a real meal. Thank you so much.

Corbin's Arrival Part III

So my water was broken and I was definitely have this baby.

At this point they sent in the "world's most incompetent" midwife assistant. She was left to watch me labor and take vital signs on the hour. I call her incompetent because every time she took my blood pressure she had to pump up the cuff no less than 4 times, leaving me with completely numb fingers. At if that wasn't bad enough, her blood pressure readings weren't even right. She kept coming up with 110/60. I have NEVER been 60 in my life. I'm more of a 70 or even 80 girl. So I know that was complete crap. She could at least use a thermometer correctly though. So I guess I should be thankful for that.

I was instructed to start walking...haha, around the room. This felt really dumb to me. Have you ever tried "walking" in your bedroom? Yeah, it is as dumb as it sounds. So I walked from one side of the bed to the other...and then back...and then again...and back.

So yeah, then it all gets very painful from this point on. We end up in the jacuzzi tub when the labor pains get intense. Mark is now trapped at the side of the tub, forced to endure my torturous hand squeezing. Dilation is not coming along after an hour or so. I apparently have (or had) a tight cervix. So they came in with this horrible tasting herbal drink. So horrible that they also gave me a popsicle to suck on after each gulp. I mean this stuff was nasty!! Just keeping it down was a struggle. The drink was supposed to relax me and my cervix, haha.

By this point I really felt like pushing, but the cervix wasn't cooperating, so I had to hold off. I had now given up on the whole "just relax and go with it" style of laboring. My deep breathing wasn't doing squat and these contractions hurt like a mother. So I moved on to the "vocalization" method or the "scream and grunt like a wild animal" method. I highly recommend it. A few well placed gripes at your husband also go well with this.

The midwife pulled out the pool noodles to help me not drown myself in the tub - where were those during Hayden's birth? They sort of helped...I guess. Then she was back to telling me to squat in the tub to help dilate more. Damn cervix. Yeah, squatting + contractions = death. Finally, she said we needed to move to the birthing chair - I needed gravity to help me out. So no water birth. At this point, I would have birthed anywhere.

Now that sounds easy enough...move to the birthing chair...but have you ever tried to get out of a tub almost 10 months pregnant and during contractions??!! You've got to be kidding me. How am I supposed to get my leg up over this 2 foot ledge? And on top of that, I was starting to get leg cramps. Argh. Somehow I got out.

The birthing chair is basically a U shaped piece of metal - uh my butt wasn't exactly made to sit on something like that. So that was interesting. With some pushing out popped his head, but then...he had big shoulders!! Argh. So a lot of "little" pushes were required. With 2 legs in the air and lots of pushing out splashed Corbin. They almost didn't catch him!! Sheesh. And that was that. Hehe, ok not really - but I'll leave out all the gory details since I know some of you first time preggos are reading. We'll just say birth is a, uh, messy activity - I wouldn't wear anything you want to keep.

Oh, and for those who were interested in the labor race - I won. Corbin was born on the 24th at 11:47pm and my friends baby was born on the 25th.

Corbin was 8 lbs, 3 oz and 20 inches.

And that's how Corbin arrived!

Corbin's Arrival Part II

So I was 5 cm and now we were staying - time to get the bags out of the car. Like smart cookies, we decided to bring our stuff with us just in case I was close enough to stay. We, of course, did not bring any of our food or drinks...oops. With 100 degree weather, popsicles would not have survived if we didn't stay.

So Mark started making a few phone calls and I squatted around trying to look like I was busy "in labor".

I had picked out some Enya CDs for our "birthing music" - yeah remind me to shoot myself later for that decision - but there was a selection of CDs in the birthing room also. Believe it or not there were Christmas CDs in that stack too. I looked at Mark with a wicked smile, and he abruptly told me "Don't even think about it". So I picked out Nora Jones and was quite satisfied...until the CD died from scratches 4 songs later. Bah. However, I must say I would recommend a few of her songs for relaxation.

The contractions were getting a bit more painful, but nothing killer. I just rolled around on the birthing ball and did my relaxation thing. I've come to realize that I suck at the whole relaxation technique thing. Must rethink my labor strategy...again.

The midwife had told us that I had A LOT of amniotic fluid and that was keeping Corbin from dropping down. She was afraid to break the water too soon, for fear that his cord would come down first and cause complications. She wanted me to do some more squatting trying to get him to come down a bit further.

We continued to get updates about my friend down the hall. She made it to 7 cm. Blast! How dare she get ahead. The midwife asked if I'd like my water broken now. This would speed up the labor, but of course that meant things would get really serious, really quickly. Is it possible to answer yes and no at the same time? Yes I'd like labor to be over...no I don't want to be in more pain. Hmmm...in the end my competitive nature won out - you bet your buns I want my water broken. She's 7 cm and I'm poking around here at 5 cm. Let's get this show on the road! Hehe. But seriously, I just wanted to get the whole labor thing over with.

So with lots of pain - yay for internal pokes and prods - my water was broken and now there was no turning back.

Hmm...not that you could actually change your mind or anything...or trust me I would have said "Um yeah, I don't think I want to have a baby anymore, I've changed my mind. This is a little more pain than I'm in the mood for thanks!" But baby has to come out some way and the escape hatch is my hoo-haa.

Corbin's Arrival Part 1

Since we're pretty busy here around the Zavala household, I thought I'd tell the story in parts - I'm not sure I could finish the whole story in one sitting, HA! Too many kiddos to tend to now. I know, I know only two, but still.

Monday I worked hard to get some labor happening. I walked, we "tangoed", you get the idea.

Tuesday I woke up as usual and started getting Hayden ready for the day when I noticed some "leaking". A typical early labor sign for me, I also did the same with Hayden. Minor contractions started and I blogged throughout the day. HA! Around 4pm I called the birthing center just to check in and give them a heads up. At that point the contractions were still irregular and about 6-7 minutes apart.

The midwife said to come in when they were 5 minutes apart, but also said I could drop by now if I wanted to avoid the evening rush hour. Mark and I decided to try walking. We made it down the block when we decided we were dumb for walking outside in the 100 degree weather. We decided maybe a Walmart trip would be a better idea.

On the way to Walmart the contractions started getting closer together. Not wanting to have a "Walmart Baby", we decided to head to the birthing center instead, just to get checked out. I was pretty curious by that time on how dilated I was.

Midwife found that I was 3-4 centimeters and 80% effaced. She let us stay, although we weren't officially "admitted". She would check on the progress in an hour or so. We got to head to our "room" and were instructed to do some squats leaning back - which I must say is rough on the calves! Tired of "exercising", we decided to do some laps around the parking lots outside. This generally helps the progression of labor.

After about 45 minutes we came back inside and were told some awesome news. Another friend of ours who had a due date right before me was in labor too and down the hall!! We went and "visited" for a sec, then headed back to our room for more "squatting".

The next time the midwife checked (around 7pm) we were 5 cm dilated - which means we could be "officially" admitted! Yay!

My friend and I were now neck and neck, both being 5 cm. The race begins!!

And that's part 1 of the story!!!

We're Home!

Corbin Thomas Zavala splash landed into this world at 11:47pm last night! I will post pics as soon as I can crawl off of this couch and get to our camera, HA! The full story will be coming soon!

Still Truckin'

Contractions are still going. Mark came home at lunch - we did Taco Bell, haha!

I'm thinking a nice long walk is in order to get things moving along. The contractions are still 6-7 minutes apart. So we're just pokin' along. HA!

But at least they haven't stopped. Not that I think they will at this point. With Hayden's birth, we started "early labor" at 2 am and it didn't get serious until around noon.

But we did walk a lot - too bad it's freakin hot out there! I liked the November weather better for birthing.

Okay, time to talk Mark into talking a hot walk - after this next contraction of course.

Timing

Looks like contractions are about 6 1/2 minutes apart, 30 seconds in duration. It's still early and the contractions are still irregular if I change what I'm doing, so I'm thinking tonight or tomorrow for this baby to arrive!

Some sites recommend the rule of 4:1:1 when deciding on when to head to the hospital/birthing center:

4 minutes apart
1 minute long
1 hour at least of contractions

I just finished my first batch of cookies! Yum. Time to eat some oatmeal cookies.

Update #1

For those keeping up with the labor happenings...

I'm starting to lose my mucous plug and still have contractions. So everything is moving along this time!

Freakin Finally

I *think* labor is starting...while changing Hayden I had some "leaking". Which for me, last time, was the start of the labor. And small contractions just started. Wahoooo!

Yes lots of walking and sex works. For those wondering.

I hear the midwives like cookies...I think I may bake some today while I'm waiting around, HA!

I'll keep ya updated until I'm too grouchy to type.

Yes I'm Still Pregnant. Yes I know I'm huge...thanks!

Today has reminded me that I am indeed still pregnant. Lest I forget. Because...ya know...it's so easy to forget. I actually ventured out of the house today and went to Baby Earth, JC Penny's, Walmart, TGI Fridays, and Primo's all before noon. And at just about every place I heard..."Wow, when are you due? It must be soon!"

Ya think? Why I had totally forgotten, but that's right! My due date is July 3rd.

YES IT'S SOON PEOPLE! YES I'M MISERABLE! YES I'M ENORMOUS, I'M VERY AWARE OF THAT FACT! AND YES, IT IS HOT OUT THERE!

Hence, all the walking around people. Let's get this baby show on the road. But alas, nothing. Time to pull out all the stops, I may just have...to...have...SEX! I hear that works well. And there's nothing like having sex at 9 and 3/4 months pregnant! I'm not a small girl to begin with, now add a beach ball to the equation and you have the next episode of SNL (Saturday Night Live, for those living under a rock). Last week we attempted this circus act and it was hilarious...and a bit dangerous. I won't go into details.

But dang Corbin!! Talk about taking your sweet time, don't you know Momma don't want no 10 pounders??!!! So please, for the love of my hoo-haa come out!

A View From a Whale

Here's a day in the life of a whale, uh, I mean, pregnant woman...

"Sleeping"

1. Nights are spent on the couch where the whale can get plenty of cold air both from the extreme air conditioning and fan blowing on her 24/7.

2. Sleep positions for the whale are limited to left side and right side with a pillow in between her legs. The pillow is mostly so her prickly hairy legs do not touch each other. And I just shaved like 2 days ago.

3. Getting from one sleep position to the next requires whale acrobatics. The whale must somehow lift her butt up while simultaneously rolling her round belly to the desired side. She must also try to keep her legs together and parallel in order to avoid mind-numbing pelvic pains.

4. If whale's baby (Corbin) disapproves of her new position he will kick her until she moves again.

5. Five minutes after finding a comfortable position the whale must get up and go to the bathroom. This requires some form of rolling off the couch while ignoring afore mentioned pelvic pains. She must be sure not so stand completely up in order to avoid peeing on herself.

6. The whale pees about a 1/2 an ounce. She then spends a few minutes wishing she had longer arms...

7. Whale positioning starts all over again. Another bathroom trip may be needed.

8. Crap it's morning - toddler is banging on his gate to come out.

"Eating"

1. The whale must make food decisions wisely. Although she "could" eat everything in the fridge, she must stay aware at all times. Spicy food leads to flame breathing indigestion put out only by the fire extinguisher which unfortunately is toxic. Eating too much food also leads to flames. Not eating also leads to flames. Flames are now just apart of the whole eating process.

2. If the whale does find something tolerable to eat, the whales offspring (Hayden) generally also finds the food desirable and eats at least half of it.

3. The whale generally eats the food while her offspring (Hayden) uses her as a jungle gym while saying "yum yum yum yum". Luckily the whale has perfected the art of plate balancing. She still needs to work on drink balancing, as her offspring (Hayden) enjoys running up to her and throwing himself on her cup. There's nothing like being covered in Tang. If the offspring (Hayden) gets a "taste test" of the whale's food and doesn't like it, spitting it back out on her is acceptable.

4. Any food that requires more than two steps of preparation is unacceptable.

"Computer time"

1. The laptop does not actually fit in the "lap" of a whale. In fact, whales do not have "laps", they have knees and lower legs. Therefore the laptop must sit in a delicate balance on the arm of the couch.

2. The whale's offspring (Hayden) enjoys playing the "where does this go" game with the laptop. This is played by the offspring (Hayden) finding random plugs, like her phone charger, and trying to plug them into the USB ports on the back of the laptop. Another favorite game is "what does this button do?", in which her offspring (Hayden) presses the power button repeatedly, or presses the CD eject button while she is burning a CD.

3. The whale's offspring (Hayden) loves typing on the laptop while she is trying to blog or email. This often results in the entire blog or email getting erased.

Contact

The whale can often be sighted sitting on the couch, fanning herself, while watching Disney movies with her offspring (Hayden). If you see her be on alert, approach slowly, and offer her donuts.

I *Heart* Google Reader

We all know that I am behind the times on most stuff, so why should this be any different? In the past year I've become an addicted, er, avid reader of blogs - especially Mommy blogs. My daily reads used to take me awhile to get through - because I was doing it the old fashioned way. I'd bookmark the blog and check each day for a new post.

But no more!

I have started using Google Reader. Now I can know instantly when one of my favorite blogs has a new post and not waste my time checking all day!!

Yes, I know...everyone has been doing this forever already. But I haven't!! I had know idea this existed. Yes, I'm behind.

So I have found another way to get my time back!

The no TV has been going well. Granted we've watched a tiny bit here and there, including a few Disney movies - but it's much improved from what we were doing. We now watch NO TV in the morning. And only a tiny bit in the afternoon. Mostly while Hayden naps.

I have to say, I've enjoyed not listening to the crap morning shows or dumb talk shows. I hated that they filled my brain with such dribble.

Oh, and no baby yet, for those waiting for that announcement. Tomorrow will be 38 weeks. I feel like Corbin is gonna just fall out, but no labor pains yet. I'm just large! Oh well. He will get here when he's ready.

Well, gotta get ready for a game night at our house tonight!!

A Day of Unplugged...Sort of

Yesterday I was watching my toddler being mesmerized by the TV and realized he looked like a zombie. Not the "I'm gonna eat your entrails Mom" type zombie, but a catatonic dazed zombie. This can't be good. This kind of passive activity must be harmful. He should be interacting and playing, not being bombarded with TV crap.

So today I turned off the TV. I usually have it going for background noise since it can get kind of lonely here during the day. Or I'll use it while I take a shower or cook for a babysitter. Or if I'm tired we'll just watch TV to entertain us. But not really, daytime TV can't really be considered entertainment. I might throw in a Disney movie for some peace and quiet on the hard days.

But besides Hayden, what is this crap doing to me? I watch this mindless junk and it sucks. All of this crap sucks. Stupid court TV, gameshows, reality TV, it's all dumb. Why do I even have this crap on? Why am I watching this ridiculous dribble? I feel dumber for having watched it.

So today I turned off the TV. But ACK! What does one do with all this damn time now? The day drags without the mindless blaring of ridiculous shows. Even if I wasn't watching, it somehow marked the time. Now there is this silence. This empty mind thing. I think even Hayden is feeling it. Like what should we do now?

We built a fort out of blankets, the couch, and a chair. Hayden thought it was better to do a body flop on top of the blanket then get under it. HA!

We wrestled (his favorite activity).

We wandered around the house.

We looked at books.

We did some dishes.

We did some laundry.

We mostly looked at each other and wondered..what's next?

Crap, without hours and hours taken up - now we have to live life. A real life. Not watch someone else live theirs.

Hmmm...if only it wasn't so hot out, I think I could keep us busy. But this preggo aint leaving the house.

Anyway, so today I turned off the TV, and started the withdrawal.

Final Jeopardy Meltdown

Why is it seemingly smart people can turn into complete idiots on the final jeopardy question?

Probably one of the easiest final questions ever - you didn't need to know some useless fact about Norway or some complex engineering theory, just:

What is the only whole number that when spelled out the letters are in reverse alphabetical order?

Now a logical approach would be to start with the lowest number and work up. Let's begin.

O-N-E

Oh shit, that's it. O comes after N, N comes after E. Yay! Reverse alphabetical order.

And what do our contestants answer? Two of them have major brain farts and answer:

Eleven? What??? That has 3 freakin E's all over the place. No alphabetical order there....

A ton. What the?? That's not even a number!!!!!!!!

I don't know how Alex keeps a straight face sometimes.

Fun with Search Engines

I've seen a lot of bloggers have a bit of fun looking at what google searches bring people to their site, so I thought I'd see how some people end up on my blog:

1. How to prime a lawn mower

Ah yes, my infamous thoughts on lawn mowing!

2. Camping indoors

Quick tip for this person...if you're indoors, you're not camping!!

3. I'm pulling as hard as I can to start the mower and it's doing nothing

I'm right there with ya sister, obviously these damn things were designed by men or they'd come with a key - and a cup holder.

4. Is it ok to wash down a lawn mower?

Hmmm...I don't know - why the hell would you want to wash a lawn mower? It's just going to get dirty again the next time you use it. That seems futile.

5. My sink is leaking

Mine too. It sucks doesn't it?

6. Sitting in the grass to pee

My opinion? Not a good idea. In the end, my bet would be that your butt would be covered in both grass and pee...not a good combo. By the way, are you related to this kid? Cause that was gross.

7. Hootchy Cootchy dance midi

HA! Okay, other than my laughter that someone is looking for that song, midi format? Really?

8. Turkey in straw donut

Hmmm...interesting. 2 things I've never seen...a straw donut, and a turkey IN a straw donut.

9. Using a flashlight while pregnant

Yes, I may be going out on a limb here, but I'm gonna say it's OK to use a flashlight while pregnant.

10. What time of year is fall?

Tough one...it's fall. Or some like to call it autumn.

11. Why don't everyone do sports?

Well, my grammar-challenged young friend, some of us like to read or engage in other intellectually stimulating activities. But I think you should stick to sports.

12. Wimpy lawn service

So let me get this straight, you're looking for a wimpy lawn service? How does that conversation go?

Lawn service: "Thank you for calling Wimps R Us. How can I help you?
Customer: "Yes, I'm looking to have my lawn mowed by scrawny, malnourished wimps. Do you have anyone like that?"
Lawn service: "You've called the right place! All of our mowers are certified wimps."
Customer: "Great! When can you come out?"



Well, from what I've seen from these google searches, my blog is the foremost expert on lawn mowing. All your lawn mowing questions (especially those having to do with priming) can be answered here!!! There were several other searches on lawn mowing I didn't put up there because it was starting to get boring. I had no idea one simple post on my lawn mowing thoughts could make such an impact on my site traffic!! I should talk about lawn mowing more often! Apparently that's what everyone is interested in. :P

Woohoo

Another prenatal appointment down! 37 weeks tomorrow - and I'm still the same. So that means I can rest easy (I think) and not worry about the whole labor thing. At this point, I'm ready when he is, but I CAN WAIT! Hahaha. So I'm just gonna keep going about my business, not thinking about the L-word.

Okay enough about that.

Hayden's very whiny today. Or vocal. Or something - but my ears are tired. Haha.

My Mom is still a nut ball. She cannot go a single day without some kind of drama (which she usually makes up) in her life. I don't know why she just can't be content. Since she really only has contact with me, my Grandma, and my Aunt - she always has some perceived injustice that one of us has done. This times a real winner.

My Mom decided not to tell my Grandma that she was coming to visit me. I am assuming this is my Mom's way of "getting back" at my Grandma for times when she didn't tell my Mom about her trips to different places. (I know, this is all stupid). On the way out here, she called my Uncle (her brother) and mentioned to him that they were coming to visit me. When my Grandma called him later that day, he mentioned that they were coming to visit me. She then called me, and I of course confirmed that they were visiting (I had no clue my mom hadn't told her). My Grandma requests that I don't tell my Mom that she knows, she says she'll wait until my Mom wants to tell her. Okay, whatever.

So one might guess that the injustice in this situation was committed by my Mother. But no, not in my Mom's world.

Yesterday I talked to my Grandmother again. So today when I talked to my Mom, she asked if I had talked to my Grandmother. Of course, I said yes. Then she asked me if I told her that they had visited. So I told the truth, that I didn't have to, she had already been told by Uncle R. I am tired of this cloak and daggers game and I didn't want to get caught up in it - so I ended the farce that my Grandmother knew nothing.

This is where her perceived injustice starts. Well! She must be mad at me then, cause she hasn't called me. The frequency of my Grandmothers calls is a constant source for drama. Well if she's not going to call me, then maybe I won't call her.

I would like to call my Grandma and give her a heads up that my Mom knows she knows. But unfortunately she's not home today. So I don't know what kind of crap is going to go down. And I hate being in the middle of it.

This is NOT drama. This not anything. This is stupid. And this is what I deal with all the time. Pretty much every week/day.

Just waiting around

Now that I've actually had some contractions, I'm kind of waiting for this whole labor thing to get started. But, no. Corbin is quite content to hang out in the belly.

So I'm taking a chance to venture out to a birthday dinner for my awesome gal pal. If my water breaks, so be it, it will make the night more interesting, and we can laugh about it later. But I highly doubt that will happen. And since we're eating sushi...even if it did or contractions started or whatever - I'd still finish my dinner cause I LOVE sushi (although lately I'm confined to the cooked variety). Then I'd continue the whole labor thing. Cause Corbin - there are a few things Momma neeeeeeds, sushi is one of them, so you'll just have to wait. (Queso would be another, along with showers...momma likes showers - not so much for the cleanliness aspect but the alooooone time). I guess being not stinky is a plus too, but whatever.

Hayden has been a lot easier today, not quite as crabby. He was definitely missing all the attention he got from the grandparents yesterday. He was a cranky cranky baby. Er, toddler. *Sniff, my baby is growing up*

Today we got to play!!! We played with his toddler Legos - stacking and unstacking. Then I tried to teach him some new words. I put a few things in with the Legos basket, like a star, a little stuffed rooster, and a cup. We'd pull them out and I'd tell him what it was, "This is a star!". Then we'd put it back and I'd ask him to get the star. I think by the end he knew what a star was. The others didn't stick much. But we're working on it!

I'm trying to be more proactive about teaching him new words, since his comprehension is limited to only a few things. I'm not sure how much he should understand at this age, but learning more couldn't hurt! I think he definitely knows ball, blanket, dog, clock, baby and bunny. So I'm slowly showing him the names of his other toys. Mostly I think he just ignores me, HA! I did get him to say "star", of course it came out as "ar", but that counts!

He actually ate most of his lunch which is a small victory. He's become quite the picky eater (unless you give him fruit, he loves fruit), so mealtimes are battle times. Last night he wouldn't eat ANY of his dinner. So he went to bed with only milk. He's trying to hold out for fruit, he only wants fruit. But kid, you need balanced nutrition and fruit isn't going to cut it. The doctor recommended to feed him eggs, so I made scrambled eggs this morning...he wouldn't eat them. So we went back to our usual yogurt mixed with banana rice cereal. He likes that. It's a good breakfast, it gives him protein, calcium and plenty of needed vitamins from the rice cereal. So at least breakfast isn't a fight. But the other meals are.

I'm thinking of trying a boiled egg cut up. They say you have to offer the food over and over before they'll eat it sometimes. I've found that to be true. He has recently developed a liking for string cheese, but it took several times of me offering it and him spitting it out to get him to finally like it. But cheese can be hard on their little systems, so I only offer once a day at lunch or for a snack.

I haven't felt up to cooking specifically for him - especially when I know I could spend all this time making something he might not eat. So I haven't tried all the possibilities. Oh he does like mac-n-cheese...but really people? That's not the healthiest meal. So I've tried to avoid the mac-n-cheese. I may try a recipe I have for mac-n-cheese that's made with pureed veggies mixed in. Kind of a "trick your kids into eating veggies" deal. Which at this point I'm willing to do. But I need to go buy some veggies to puree...haha. Shopping is not something I do lately, that has fallen to Mark.

I'd love to have this baby, mostly so I could feel like a contributing member of this household again. I am able to keep up with most things, like dishes, laundry, taking care of Hayden, and picking up toys - but that's about it. And there are some days when all I can do is take care of Hayden - and even that slips into us watching TV most of the day - yuck. I have had a ton more energy this week though! Partly, I think, from the relief of not feeling sick anymore. Colds suck! So I'm caught up on most of my housework.

I read another blog this week and was really touched about how they explained motherhood and staying home. The choice of working/not working is such a huge debate with both sides being very defensive and sensitive about their choices. So this is totally not about that. Both sides fight hard to defend their need to either stay home or go back to work, and have to daily deal with the "opposition" that disagrees or is envious of their choice. I love all my mommies whether they work or stay home - it's a personal choice that every mother has to make. And even once you make it, you have to choose it again daily, and remind yourself daily why it is you made the choice.

For me that choice was to stay home, and when I find encouraging words that helps me each day to make that choice, I like to share them! So this is mostly for stay at home mommies who need a little encouragement today! But all mommies share the responsibility of taking care of your little ones (even if you entrust them to someone else for a little part of the day), so this could be encouraging to any mom.

I'm not going to list where the "ideas" or paraphrases come from because some of my more liberal mommy friends might fall off their chairs reading the other "stuff" that came along with this little tidbit. And I can't agree with all or even most of what this person says, but that doesn't make their encouragement any less valuable or true.

Often the world views "homemaking" and even "motherhood" as drudgery and holds it in low esteem, especially when compared to accomplishments made outside the home in one's career. No one praises you for the load of laundry done or the dishes washed, or the noses wiped. You receive no awards or bonuses for those extra 15 minutes of playtime you took with you're little one, or making that special dinner for your husband. You aren't paid at the end of the day or week for the efforts you made, and no one is counting the hours you worked on this task or that one. So when one looks at the "accomplishments" you make in the work place verses the seemingly repetitive tasks a mother finishes at home, you might get tempted to call it drudgery. Yet, that couldn't be farther from the truth.

Yes, it might be drudgery because the work is hard. Dishes, laundry, changing diapers, giving baths, working in the yard, and all the other manual labor is hard. No one denies that. But it is certainly not drudgery because it is dull. You are the jack of all trades in your home. At work you were a specialist. For instance, I was a quality assurance engineer. I tested software. I knew all about testing. I knew all about networking (the area of software our company made). But that was it. I knew those two things. I knew nothing about things such as electrical engineering or teaching, or psychology, or anything. I knew my little area.

But here at home, I am a generalist. I am a cook - maybe not the best, but it's passable; I am a teacher - teaching ABC's, words, morals to my child; I am a decorator - planning what best fits each room, making space for our new baby; I am a house cleaner - finding the safest and best possible cleaning solutions that make the most of my time; I am an event planner - inviting over friends, hosting parties, making play dates; I am a handyman - fixing toys, replacing batteries, investigating sink leaks, unclogging toilets; I am a doctor - dispensing medicine, diagnosing illness, investigating new vitamins and foods for optimal health; I am a counselor - listening to my husbands concerns, offering advice, giving comfort; I am a gardener - growing food for our family, planting flowers for beauty; in essence I am a wife and mother!

I get to dabble in a million different areas of life. I don't have to be constrained in one area. And I don't have to compete. In the world of "specializing" you have pressure to be the best, know the most, and compete with others daily on this. In the world of the generalist, I just need to know a little about a lot. I have nothing and no one to compete with. I can cook, but I'm not the BEST cook, nor do I need to be. I will work hard to raise our children, but I'm no parenting specialist, I do the best I can with the information and tools I have. I clean my house, but I'm not an HG TV host creating the optimal environment. I don't have the stress of competition, I have the joy of discovery.

We're not less because we're not specializing, we're more because our minds our opened to the whole world! Our homes do not need to be the closed off, monotonous, TV driven, lazy, boring places that one might imagine and even fall into, but a new avenue of discovery and dominion! Our homes can bring life, love, laughter, and joy into this world and we are the ones who will do it.

So adjust your perspective just a bit and move from drudgery to discovery. Discover how you can be a "home" "maker", not just a stay at home mom. We aren't just staying at home, we've been entrust with making a home.

Visit is Over!!

So the parents are gone. I breathe a sigh of relief, and the house seems a bit lonelier - company is company, even if they are crazy.

Other classic Mom comments:

"Let me take a picture of Shamu" ~Yes, she was talking about me.

"I didn't hurt your feelings with the Shamu comment did I?" ~No, Mom. I always wanted to be compared to giant orca. Should I jump in the wading pool and do some tricks too?

Hayden will miss all the interaction. Having grandparents to play with him all day is a dream come true. Mom is just toooo boring - and large.

Sunday morning was "exciting" but just for me. Mark came in to bed around 1, which woke me up. I had a lot of trouble going back to sleep after that. As I was laying there, I realized I couldn't sleep because I was having contractions and my back was really hurting. The contractions weren't the super painful labor ones, so I tried just laying there and going back to sleep. If my labor was starting, I probably had quite a few hours of small contractions ahead of me and I should get some rest. After tossing and turning, I decided I would just get up. I didn't wake Mark or my parents like I did with Hayden's labor. I figured, the more sleep they got, the better the day would be. Last time Mark was so tired after having been up with me most of the night.

So about 3:30am I waddled into the kitchen and made a cup of tea. Then I looked of the "what to bring to the birthing center" list and started packing my bag. When I finished that, I sat down and started reading a good suspense novel. The contractions continued until 6:30am when I decided to go lay down again and try to just relax even if I couldn't sleep. But, much to my surprise I fell asleep for about an hour. And when I woke up, the contractions had stopped!

As everyone was getting up, about to get ready for church, I debated on if I should tell them about my morning. Now that the contractions had stopped, I felt kind of silly telling them anything. But, I was paranoid about going to church after what had happened (wouldn't want my water breaking there or anything), so I figured I had to say something. So I told them what had happened - of course everyone looks at you like your a time bomb after that point, which I hate. I hate attention. I almost thought about saying nothing - but I didn't want to chance going to church so soon after having those contractions.

So we stayed home from church, which I felt bad about since Mark was schedule to work and set up. But just didn't know what was going to happen. We tried walking, but the contractions never really came back. Just some irregular contractions here and there. Last night I slept like a rock, and woke up feeling normal again. Maybe Corbin has decided to stay put for awhile. And if that's true, that's ok with me. He can take all the time he needs to be a healthy baby. Although, mentally, I really was calm and prepared for laboring Sunday morning. I hope the next time goes as smoothly. I thought I handled it like a seasoned pro (ok I've only done it once, but whatever).

So no baby yet. But who knows?

Just Breathe

Some of the reasons I dread the Mom visit...are statements like these:

First thing she says when they get here:

"Wow! You're huge." ~Gee thanks Mom, I was feeling like a whale, now you've confirmed it.

More pregnancy comments:

"Stand up let me look at you. I think you're bigger than last time"
Me: "Actually, I'm 20 lbs lighter"
"Oh, well last time was probably a lot of water weight" ~~Yes, LAST time I wasn't fat, but this time I definitely am. Thanks.

Crushing my hopes on having the baby soon:

"Well, he's not down low yet. You're still carrying him high." ~~No that's just fat Mom, remember?

After telling her I'm sick and have a cold:

"Well you do sleep with the fan on, that probably gave you a cold"
Me: "I've been sleeping with the fan on for 6 months. I'm pregnant and hot"
"The fan ALWAYS gives me sore throats"
Me: "It's not the fan, I got the sore throat Tuesday evening - no fan"
"Well have you been around any cleaning chemicals? Those could give you a sore throat?"
Me: "No Mom, Hayden had it, Mark had it, now I have it. It's a cold, not cleaning chemicals"
"Does Hayden sleep with a fan?"
Me: "NO Mom, in face he sleeps on the bottom bunk so he really gets no air flow even from the vent."
"Well I know the fan always makes me sick. I can't sleep under it."

Talking about last pregnancy:

"You froze us last time. You were always hot and we were freezing" ~Being pregnant will do that.

Talking about our previous conversation of having no lunch meat:

"What do you mean you don't have any food. You have lots of food!"
"I didn't say I didn't have any food Mom, I said I didn't have any LUNCH MEAT. But Mark brought home his from work so you could make sandwiches tomorrow."

Talking about tomorrow morning:

"Can we get Hayden up tomorrow?"
Me: "Sure Mom, just be sure to warm up his milk and bring it in to him when you go get him. He expects a cup of milk first thing"
"What? He gets milk in his bed?"
"No, Mom. You heat up the milk, you go let him out of his room and hand him the milk. He'll toddle out drinking his milk."
"Oh."
Me: "I'm sure I'll wake up when he does."

Talking about coffee pots before they got here:

"We're brining our coffee pot."
Me: "Mom, we have a coffee pot."
"I know but every time we come it breaks." ~Our coffee pot broke once. And they were the only ones that ever used it. And they bought the replacement. But yeah ok, I'm not even gonna answer this one.

Clueless

So my Mom? She's clueless. I have to rant about this because no one is around to complain too. As most of you know I'm 9 months pregnant today. I'm also sick. My Mom knows both of these facts. Months earlier she had asked if they could come out before the baby was born. I said I didn't think it was a good idea because I probably would not have the energy to entertain company etc. Of course, she says - we're not company! Etc, etc. We leave it at them not coming until after the baby is born. Then 2 weeks ago she calls and asks to come again, just for 4-5 days. I give in.

So they are on their way today. I just got off the phone with her, they will be arriving around 8 or so.

She asks "Should we pick something up or do you have something for us to eat there?"

Considering it's past dinner time when they are arriving, I say, "You should probably pick something up since I don't have lunch meat or anything."

She says, in her totally surprised tone, "You don't have anything? And your expecting company?"

I say nothing. I have nothing to say. I am so ANNOYED at her complete lack of consideration, at her self-centeredness, at her rudeness. I can say nothing.

She says, "Are you still there?"

"Yup. Sorry, but I can no longer go to the grocery store anymore. I can't lift Hayden into the cart." Ya know, CAUSE I'M ABOUT TO HAVE A DAMN BABY.

"Oh, okay".

TELL ME WHAT KIND OF PERSON ON ONE HAND TELLS YOU THAT THEY AREN'T COMPANY AND THAT THEY DON'T NEED ANY SPECIAL TREATMENT, THEY JUST WANT TO SEE YOU, THEY WON'T BE AN INCONVENIENCE, THEY KNOW YOU'RE SICK AND TIRED, AND 9 MONTHS PREGNANT; AND THEN ON THE OTHER BITCH ABOUT NOT HAVING LUNCHMEAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Should I go buy special soap and scented candles for their bathroom? Are they expecting a 5 course meal for dinner? Should I have planned activities?

DOES THE WORLD ONLY REVOLVE AROUND HER?

Apparently it does. In her mind.

Excuse me while I pass out from extreme exhaustion and anger.

So much to blog, so little energy

Hmmm, well how should blog about all that's been going on this week. Let's go backwards starting with today...

Thursday:

Argh I feel like crap. My throat is sore. My parents are going to be here by 8pm and I still need to do a bunch of stuff before they get here. (Including blowing up the air mattress and making them a "room" to sleep in.) I'd also like to clean the bathrooms too. But what I'd really like to do is to crawl under the covers and sleeeeep. Hayden has been a daredevil today and already has a busted lip. His circus acrobatics were no match for the coffee table, fireplace, and plastic drawers. Hayden:0 Living Room Furniture: 1. I'm on my 3rd load of laundry for today - I'd really like to just get it all done. Hopefully that's possible.

Wednesday:

I definitely have a cold, my throat is sore, I feel like crap. Just what I need. I survived in this sickness infested house as long as I could. Prenatal appointment today let us know that I'm 1 cm dilated and my cervix is soft. To put this in perspective, when I was pregnant with Hayden and they told me this, I had him 5 days later. Tomorrow I'll be 36 weeks. Starting at 36 weeks I can give birth at the birthing center. So that's a relief. My Mom's hoping I'll have the baby while they are visiting this weekend. I dunno about that. Now that I know I'm close, I'm kind of not in a hurry. Two kiddos!! Argh what was I thinking. I'm nervous. I hope I can handle it.

Because I feel like completely crap I took a nap while Hayden napped. Apparently, I must be punished for this, because I wake up to find that Hayden has taken off his diaper and has been playing in his own crap for at least an hour. There is poop everywhere - on the carpet, his blankets, his gate, his bed, sheets, and him. And he may have even eaten some. Oh yeah - it's that bad. I call Mark immediately. I am too sick and too pregnant to deal with this all by myself, he must come home to help. Luckily it's already 4pm, so it's not that early. I throw Hayden in the bathtub, Mark gets home near the end of that. I won't go into the cleanup details.

Did a bunch of cleaning in preparation for my parents - swept, mopped, picked up, dishes, etc. Had tons of trouble falling asleep because of afore mentioned sore throat.

Tuesday:

Mark and I have been married 8 years today. Since we did our "celebrating" yesterday, this mostly goes by unnoticed. When night comes I start to feel sick - great, I'm catching Hayden's and Mark's cold. Bah!!

Monday:

Today we planned on celebrating our anniversary with dinner and a movie out. But...of course...Hayden is sick. No celebrations for us. Mark brings home dinner and we watch a DVD. Oh and I got a good smelling rose. Hayden was really grumpy during dinner because he had taken no nap today. He ends up falling asleep in his highchair with half his food eaten. I end up eaten most of my dinner alone while Mark gets Hayden ready for bed. Not the romantic evening I'd envisioned. Mark has good news. His MRI was today, no new lesions.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Okay, and that was my week in brief. Hayden's trying my patience today, and I could really use a nap, so I'm gonna say bye!

Pampered Sunday

Sunday I got to enjoy an afternoon of pure pampering. For Mother's day this year, Mark got me a gift certificate for a pregnancy massage and pedicure at Halina's European Day Spa. Wow! It was great. Minus a quick chair massage I got once for my birthday, I'd never had a massage before! I think I'm addicted. It was wonderful. And I also loved getting my pedi - although I think I could save myself some bucks and go somewhere else for pedicures in the future.

This place was a bit too posh for me to go more than like once a year - but it was a great treat.

In honor of our new "man" arriving soon, I thought I'd infuse the house with a little pink, since I will be surrounded by men now. So I got some hot pink polish! Woot.

I can't recommend this place completely though. I liked the service, the massage, the atmosphere, but...I can't agree with their policies and I think that's a deal breaker. They have a 24 hour cancellation policy, which is fine, except that the penalty for canceling late is that you have to pay for the full service of your appointment. Uh, what? I can understand a 20 buck fee or something - but you want me to pay for it whether I'm there or not? I cannot agree with that. In the life of a Mom, nothing is set in stone. And there may be times that due to illness or whatever, I might need to cancel last minute. A policy like that is just too harsh - I don't feel they are looking out for their customers - who by the way, pay TONS for their services!

But, either way, it was a wonderful afternoon hanging out with my friend enjoying our pampering! I can think of few things better than that!